How to raise your standards

Are your beliefs holding you back from the life you deserve?

How many times have you told yourself what you “should” do?

I should lose weight.

I should be more confident.

I should earn more money.

I should have a more passionate relationship.

People have an endless list of things they believe they should do or should follow through on. And these “shoulds” carry about the same weight as a New Year’s resolution – that is, if it happens, then that’s exciting. But if not, it won’t be too disappointing because you kind of knew it wasn’t really going to happen anyway. You didn’t raise your standards enough to make it happen.

But what happens when you decide something is an absolute “must”? What happens when you cut off any other possibility than you succeeding when you upgrade your standards and decide that you will never settle for less?

When you raise the standard for your life and turn “shoulds” into “musts,” you are making an inner shift to take control over the quality of your life. Only when you decide to accept nothing less than your ultimate goals will you achieve them.

Determine where to raise the standard

Most of us have numerous areas of life where we could raise our standards. Three of the most common are creating healthy relationships, finding a fulfilling career path and improving our health.


Your relationship is a direct reflection of your standards. Some people are in a relationship but they aren’t happy because their standard is that they must be in any relationship, not that they must be in a relationship with passion and excitement that cultivates pure joy and love. Others may not be in a relationship because their standard is to never get hurt.


Tony tells us that, “Your income right now is a result of your standards, it is not the industry, it is not the economy.” If you are not making the money you desire, you haven’t reached the position you want or you are stuck in an unfulfilling career, it’s because your standard is to accept any offer that comes your way. Raise your standards, and you’ll raise your worth.


Our health is also the result of our standards. Many people wish they were thinner, healthier or more fit. But wishing something and willing it are not the same thing. You must raise the standard for your health by making it a “must.” Tell yourself that you must get healthy in order to lead an extraordinary life.

raise standards

How can you raise your standards?

There are two proven steps to raise your standards and begin living the life of your dreams.

Step one: Determine how you think about yourself

If you want real change, you have to be willing to do your part to upgrade your standards. And it starts with asking yourself, honestly, who you are. Your beliefs create your world – what do you believe about yourself?

Are you a winner? Or are you always a step behind? Are you the life of the party? Or are you more reserved?

Answering this question and discovering what your true beliefs are about yourself is critical. Because this is your identity. And the fact is we are hard-wired to follow through on who we believe we are.

Consider someone who wants to quit smoking. He may say to himself, “I’m going to do my best to stop smoking, but I’ve always been a smoker.” It doesn’t matter how hard he tries: if his identity is that he is a smoker, it’s futile. And the days until he is back smoking again are numbered because won’t raise the standard for who he is – and we act consistently with and ultimately become who we believe we are.

Step two: Break through your limiting beliefs

Most people, if they look at how they are living their lives today, will find that this set of limiting beliefs about themselves was created 10, 20, 30 or more years ago. In fact, many of us made decisions when we were kids about what to believe, what we are capable of and who we are as a person, and that became the glass ceiling that controls us.

But are you the same person you were back then? Are you the same person you were even a year ago? Human beings change constantly because we are driven by growth and self-improvement. You naturally want to raise your standards – only your limiting beliefs hold you back.

Many people stop working to break through that glass ceiling. They chalk it up to “that’s just the way it is in my life,” or tell themselves “that’s just who I am.” But ironically, when you do this, you are actually denying who you really are. You are living under a false identity that is based off of false beliefs you adopted in the past.

So how do you define yourself? And when did you start to believe that? How many years ago did you decide what you could and could not do in your life? Don’t you think it’s time to raise the standard, turn your “shoulds” into “musts” and give yourself a new identity?

Header image © altafulla/shutterstock

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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