Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.
Five Steps for Getting Anything You Want
Real power comes from working with other people. As you move down your path toward your ultimate outcomes, there will be times when you need help from others. Whether you’re networking with someone who can connect you to a powerful investor or looking for a smarter program for investing your money, you’ll find this five-step formula incredibly effective for getting what you need while adding value.
Step #1: Ask Specifically. You must describe exactly what you want, both to yourself and to someone else. How high? How far? How much? Think about it. If your business needs a loan, how you would get it? You would define precisely what you need, why you need it and when you need it. You also need to be able to show the lender what you’d produce with it. The same is true with anything else you’re asking for, from anyone.
Step #2: Ask Someone Who Can Help You. It’s not enough to ask specifically. You must ask someone with the right resources. Anything you want—a better relationship, a better job, more time with your family—is something someone already has. The trick is to find these people and ask them for help.
“It is not what we get, but who we become, what we contribute… that gives meaning to our lives.” —Tony Robbins
Step #3: Create Value for the Person You’re Asking. Don’t ask and just expect someone to give you something. Figure out how you can help him first — creating that value doesn’t always have to be tangible. For example, if you asked Bill Gates for $10,000, you probably wouldn’t get far. But if you showed him how you could use that $10,000 to advance the causes championed by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, he’d see more value in your request.
Step #4: Ask with Focused, Congruent Belief. The surest way to failure is to convey ambivalence. If you aren’t convinced about what you’re asking for, how can anyone else be? Express your conviction in your words and your physiology. Show that you’re sure of what you want and you’ll get that much closer to your goals.
Step #5: Ask Until You Get What You Want. That doesn’t mean asking the same person in precisely the same way. Have the flexibility to change and adjust until you achieve what you want. If you study the lives of successful people, you’ll find that they kept asking, kept trying, kept changing because they knew that sooner or later they would find somebody who could satisfy their needs. They rarely accepted “no” the first time, and neither should you.
Think about any unresolved challenges in your life. If you apply this five-step formula, could you achieve a new outcome? Take Step #1 today by deciding exactly what you need to resolve this challenge and you’ll find yourself that much closer toward a final solution.