Constructive conflict at work
Many leaders see conflict solely as a negative. They imagine that arguments will get out of control, that employees’ personal lives will cause problems or that teams just won’t function. This can be true if leaders don’t know how to manage conflict.
What if, instead of preventing conflict in the workplace – which is nearly impossible – you turned disagreements into constructive conflict? What if you could learn a constructive conflict communication style that encouraged others to get along instead of getting defensive?
What is constructive conflict?
Constructive conflict is a type of conflict in which the aim is to understand others’ points of view and reach an agreement on how to proceed. Constructive conflict communication is a friendly debate that takes into account both sides, keeps the approach positive and works toward accomplishing the business’s goals while remaining true to company values like equality and honesty.
Encouraging constructive conflict in the workplace can help employees be more open-minded and empathetic and can lead to greater innovation, better problem-solving and increased creativity. It can improve relationships, build trust and create strong teams.
What is destructive conflict?
Constructive conflict is a type of conflict in which the aim is to understand others’ points of view and reach an agreement on how to proceed. Constructive conflict communication is a friendly debate that takes into account both sides, keeps the approach positive and works toward accomplishing the business’s goals while remaining true to company values like equality and honesty.
Encouraging constructive conflict in the workplace can help employees be more open-minded and empathetic and can lead to greater innovation, better problem-solving and increased creativity. It can improve relationships, build trust and create strong teams.
Causes of conflict in the workplace
Most companies experience both constructive and destructive conflict in the workplace, and both types have the same origin: disagreements because of differing worldviews and ways of thinking. These disagreements are commonly caused by:
Different personalities
If everyone had the same personality, the world would be a boring, dysfunctional place. Yet working with different personalities isn’t always easy. Assertive types can overpower introverts. Logical personalities don’t always understand visionaries and creative types. Sometimes, a person just annoys us. When this is the case, constructive behavior becomes even more important.
Different working styles
Like personalities, there are many different working styles. Some people love working in teams, others alone. Some love the details while others are big-picture thinkers. Some thrive on collaborations, others on competition. Understanding working styles is key to building effective teams.
Unclear goals
Without a common goal to work toward and clearly defined job roles, teams easily devolve into chaos. Stepping on each other’s toes. Not completing their tasks. Inability to focus. Lack of inspiration. Leaders can turn all of this into constructive conflict and use it to better define their goals.
How to encourage constructive behavior
Great leaders don’t tell others what to do – they model it. They have strong, positive values and beliefs and they strive to live up to them every day. By holding themselves to a high standard, they encourage others around them to do the same and naturally turn arguments into constructive conflict.
Control your own emotions
Constructive conflict communication is impossible if you don’t master your emotions. You’ll let anger get the better of you. You’ll say things you don’t mean. You’ll roll your eyes and slam doors. And that will encourage your employees to do the same. Instead of automatically reacting negatively when you disagree with someone, ask yourself: Does this really need to be an argument? Or could it be a constructive conflict?
Work on your communication skills
Your emotions are under control, so what will you do instead of arguing or lashing out? You’ll need to work on your constructive conflict communication skills, like practicing empathy, asking the right questions and using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. You also need to develop a strong company vision and communicate it effectively, so that all team members are on the same page about your values and goals.
Stop making assumptions
Both constructive and destructive conflict in the workplace come from misunderstandings, which often happen when we make assumptions about why others act the way they do. You may think one of your team members turns in work late because they are lazy or they aren’t a team player. The truth could be that they have personal problems at home, they weren’t properly trained or you’re just not tapping into their drive. Before you make assumptions, dig deeper.
Deal with toxic employees
Sometimes employee behavior goes beyond differences in personalities or working styles. Truly toxic employees seem to have no constructive behavior at all. Bullies, slackers, drama queens and complainers: We’ve all met them and many leaders have seen the damage they can do to a team. They’re difficult to manage, but not impossible. With the right communication skills and effort to understand why they do what they do, you can bring toxic employees under control.
Respect others
To build a culture of constructive conflict, leaders must respect everyone – even toxic employees. When others feel you respect them, you’re better able to influence them. As Tony says, “If that person feels that you respect them, you honor them, you accept them, you will own them as long as you remain open.”
Ready to inspire constructive behavior in your team?
Understanding your own needs and emotions is the first step to modeling constructive behavior. Take the Driving Force quiz to determine your #1 need.