The 6 Steps to Master Your Emotions and Live Fully

6 steps to total emotional mastery that will change your life

Emotions are the lifeblood of the human experience. They’re the driving forces that shape our decisions, actions, and reactions. Whether it’s the passionate love that leads to marriage or the rage that can incite war, emotions are the ultimate power – the core of what calls us to action.

Yet, many of us struggle to manage our emotions, especially the uncomfortable ones. Consequently, we end up feeling controlled by them. So, mastering our emotions isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity for enhancing the quality of our life. Here’s a simple yet profound equation for mastering emotions:


In other words, the meaning you give to an experience determines how you feel in that moment. For example, suppose someone holds the door for you and smiles at you. How does that make you feel? Does it mean they’re trying to take advantage of you, causing you to feel angry? Or does it simply mean they’re being thoughtful, causing you to feel appreciative? When you learn to master your emotions, you don’t merely react to life – you shape it, directly enhancing the emotional quality of your life.

But before we dive deeper, how do you currently deal with your emotions? 

Most people tend to deal with emotions in one of four ways. Some attempt to avoid them, sidestepping their true feelings. Others try to resist or deny their emotions, a method bound to fail since emotions build up until they inevitably erupt. Then there are those who make emotions a competition, challenging others with sentiments like, “You think you feel bad. Well, I feel even worse!” 

The only truly effective approach is to learn from and use the invaluable messages our emotions provide. It’s crucial to recognize this, because by harnessing the power of our emotions, we become architects of our destiny.


Emotions are not inherently “negative” – they serve as crucial signals guiding us toward growth and change. In mastering your emotions, implement these steps:

  1. IDENTIFY: Begin by pinpointing the specific emotion you’re experiencing. Is it frustration, sadness, or perhaps a blend of feelings? Understanding the core emotion allows you to unravel its message.
  2. APPRECIATE & CLARIFY: Acknowledge the value of the emotion and decipher its message. Does it signal a need for action or a shift in perception? Clarifying this message is critical.
  3. GET CURIOUS: Explore how you wish to feel by delving into four key questions. What emotions do you desire? What beliefs foster these emotions? What actions can manifest them? What lessons can be gleaned?
  4. DRAW FROM PAST SUCCESS: Reflect on past triumphs over similar emotions. Relive those moments of victory to bolster your confidence in navigating the current challenge.
  5. CULTIVATE CERTAINTY: Envision several strategies for handling the emotion effectively. Rehearse these strategies until you are certain of your ability to manage the situation.
  6. TAKE ACTION: Seize the moment by implementing constructive actions aligned with your rehearsed strategies. Channel the emotion in a healthy manner that reinforces positive change.

By following these six steps, you empower yourself to become the master of your emotions, navigating life’s challenges with resilience and grace.

Remember, you always have a choice when it comes to mastering your emotions and it all begins with the steps you take now.


Every emotion is an action signal. It’s your body’s way of communicating with you. But sometimes, it’s challenging to determine the precise message. Here’s a guide to help you decode these signals:

table image of If you feel the message is...

On the left are the most common categories of emotions and the right shows its message. So, if the specific emotion you identified is not listed, then choose the category that’s most similar. For example, at its core anxiety is basically fear. Keep in mind that for all these emotions, sometimes the message is to simply change your perspective of the situation.


To truly master your emotions and gain a deep sense of emotional meaning, we must proactively nurture the positive emotions we want to feel. Whether it’s more love and warmth or more drive and unshakeable confidence, the best way to strengthen them is through habitual practice.

That’s why Tony Robbins designed his priming ritual. It’s one of the most effective ways to cultivate positive emotions, build upon past success, and condition both your mind and body for an extraordinary life.

Armed with these 6 steps and Tony’s daily priming ritual, you’ll have the power to master your emotions, live in more beautiful states, and create the life you desire on your own terms.

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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