Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.
How to create the life you want
5 steps to start achieving your goals today
Change is inevitable. Progress is optional.
You’re either going to move forward or move backwards. Either way, you’re moving. So why not take the opportunity to discover how to create the life you want?
A lot of people think that getting what you want in life means working hard, making money and grinding out each day on your way to something better. That is part of it. But to truly create the life you want, you need to stop and ask yourself, “Whose dreams am I working toward?”
Before you can move forward, you need to look inward. Tony Robbins teaches that to create the life you want, you must:
- See things the way they are
- See things the way you want them to be
- Make it happen
These can be broken down into five steps you can start taking today in order to not only create the life you want, but to find fulfillment through the process itself.
The first step is to see things the way they are. It sounds easy enough, but the truth is that as humans, we tend to either see things as better or worse than they are. Our perspective depends on many factors, including our limiting beliefs and the way we prioritize our six human needs.
Understanding why you are the way you are is essential for you to be able to create the life you want. Take Tony’s Driving Force Quiz to determine which human need shapes your choices – and is your key finding fulfillment.
Now take an honest look at your life. Are you being true to yourself?
Only when you get in touch with yourself can you stop hiding behind a mask – and stop going after goals you don’t really want.
Now that you understand where you are currently – and what makes you feel happy and fulfilled – you can begin to imagine how to create the life you want.
To uncover your dream life, use the rocking chair method. Imagine that you’re 90 years old, and you’re in your rocking chair, looking back on your life. Maybe you’re telling your grandkids about all of your adventures and the lessons you’ve learned.
What are you most proud of? What are your biggest regrets? Is there anything you wish you had achieved, or made more time for?
Take those regrets and accomplishments and visualize them as goals. You’re beginning to mentally create the life you want. The key to visualization is to treat it as if it’s already happened. Use action words like “I am” and “I can.” I am fit and healthy. I am my own boss. I can attend every important event for my family. Get total clarity on your vision.
To create the life you want, you must decide you want it more than anything – and you must truly believe you can achieve it.
Successful people typically have what’s called an internal locus of control. This means you believe that you call the shots in your life. You choose how you react to your circumstances. You even choose the way you feel. It’s an empowering mindset that puts you in the driver’s seat.
You’ll also need to prioritize yourself and your dreams. You may need to let go of guilt that other areas of your life won’t be getting as much of your focus. You may have to make major changes in your life. You may think, “the time just isn’t right.”
In his bestseller The 4-Hour Workweek, Tim Ferriss says, “Conditions are never perfect. ‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.” Translation: The time will never be right. Get over it and decide to do it.
Tony says that, “A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”
Don’t be one of the people who settles for an ordinary life. It’s time to make yours a masterpiece. To create the life you want, you must bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
Set goals. Write them down. Better yet, tell a friend. The act of writing or saying your goals out loud tricks your brain into thinking they’ve already happened. Then when you achieve them, you reinforce the entire process, training your brain to expect success – which leads to even more success.
Break your goals into small daily tasks. Want to achieve financial freedom? Better start tracking your budget and learning about investing. Want to start your own company? Join a mastermind group, find a mentor or start making a website. Every goal you achieve will begin to create the life you want.
It isn’t always easy to create the life you want. Our human need for certainty can keep us stuck in unproductive patterns. We stay in unfulfilling relationships because they’re familiar. We stay at jobs we hate because we need a steady paycheck. Breaking these patterns requires a strong belief in yourself and your vision.
A system like Tony’s Rapid Planning Method can help you connect your day-to-day goals to your overall vision for your life. Writing in a journal will not only remind you of your goals, but allow you to see how far you’ve come.
Remember to celebrate those successes – and learn from the failures. Identify where the problem arose, but don’t dwell on it. Always focus on solutions. Growth is addictive. Once you achieve a goal, you’ll start a cycle of success.