Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.
The #1 rule for lasting results
Unlock the power of proximity
January 1 is synonymous with a fresh start, a blank slate. We eagerly celebrate with ball drops and champagne toasts to kickstart our “new” lives in the new year.
But whether it’s getting healthy or getting wealthy, we often make resolutions that we don’t keep. 95% of people abandon their new year’s resolutions by the second week of January. Why is that?
Because most people set an intention, but they don’t resolve. They know they should do something but don’t.
“The truth is, you want to surround yourself with people who are out of your league.”
When we resolve, we do whatever it takes to meet our goals. We wake up early, stay up late, push through obstacles and defy all odds to make it happen. We do this because we’ll have more regrets if we don’t try than if we do try and fail.
All the drive in the world will eventually give out because you can only push for so long. But if you have a compelling reason why and an effective strategy to achieve your goals, you will start seeing results.
Another mistake is putting so much emphasis on one day of the year that you forget the other 364 days. The truth is, it’s easy to forget that every day offers a chance to start fresh. You don’t need to wait for a specific date to change your life. You can commit to constant and never ending improvement every day of the year.
What’s Tony’s #1 rule for seeing the results you want?
Proximity is power.
This is about who you surround yourself with.
Take a moment and think about all the people you have proximity to, whether through your business, work, family or community.
Be honest: how many of them are operating at a higher level than you?
The truth is you want to surround yourself with people who are out of your league.
“Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.”
Think about it. If you play sports against people who are all worse than you are, will you get better? And if you surround yourself with people who are at the same level as you – or below – in their finances, relationships, mindset, health, or business, will those people challenge you to grow? It might feel good at first but ultimately it breeds complacency, limiting your true potential.
In other words, you become who you spend time with. It applies to all areas of life, but especially in business. If your business partners are stagnant and complacent, chances are you will be too. So what can you do?
Raise your standards.
Lasting change is different than merely having a goal. You don’t always reach your goals, but you always get your standards.
Raising your standards is the number one thing that will change your life, business, finances and relationships in the long term. And you deserve nothing less than an extraordinary quality of life.
“We all get what we tolerate, in ourselves and in other people.”
Another way to think of it is shifting your mindset from what you “should” do to what you MUST do. Everyone gets their MUSTs in life, but they don’t always get what they “should” do.
When you absolutely must do something, you will either find a way or create a new way. You may not know how to achieve something at first. But if you know what you want and have strong enough reasons why you want it, you can always figure out the “how”.
So, what if you surrounded yourself with people who also make their goals a MUST? What if they had the same or higher level of commitment that you did? How would that impact your results?
That might be surrounding yourself intellectually with great minds by reading books. Or, it could be meeting people at live events and getting a results coach. Whatever it is, you need to be around the people who ignite your true potential.
If this sounds uncomfortable or intimidating, then good – because that’s where real growth starts.
Growth from the edge of your comfort zone.
The only way to truly grow is by going to the edge of your comfort zone.
Growing your peer group might mean stepping into rooms and conversations you wouldn’t normally be in…
It might mean putting yourself out there…
And it most definitely requires being uncomfortable…
Ever notice how when we’re comfortable, we don’t grow?
And “comfortable” certainly never started companies, took investment risks or created any meaningful progress.
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
When Tony started out, one of his dearest friends, Peter Guber, organized a peer group called the Scorpions and Tony joined. The name sounds mysterious, but it merely entailed a group of incredibly successful people inviting him to join group trips where they brainstormed and collaborated on ideas.
At first, their success intimidated Tony. They had their own planes and a list of accolades that made what he had at the time feel small.
It felt like a stretch to be among them. It hurt his wallet a bit, too, as he had not reached their level of success yet. Thankfully, the knowledge and connections he gained far outweighed any discomfort he initially felt.
And he made friends for life – people who, to this day, he considers some of his dearest friends and mentors.
Find a role model.
Having proximity to the right people also provides you with role models.
Everyone needs a role model, including top athletes and Fortune 500 business owners.
The way to find an effective role model is by finding someone who already achieved the result you want. For example, several years ago a brilliant businessman advised Tony to get in proximity with investment bankers to achieve his financial goals. He did and two years later, he made a deal worth $400 million, taking a company public!
Role models grant us perspective, sage wisdom, insights and the gift of anticipating the road ahead. After all, success leaves clues.
So how can you find a mentor or role model of your own? Join a peer group.
You don’t have to overextend yourself to get in certain circles. But sometimes, we shy away from places we truly belong because of fear of not measuring up.
Even Tony has role models and will continue to have them for the rest of his life. It’s not something you outgrow because growth is eternal.
When you surround yourself with the right people, it’s easy to answer the call when opportunity comes knocking.
Chances are you’ll have a relationship with just the right investment banker, PR expert or designer to get your idea off the ground.
So, like we asked at the beginning of this article, think of the people you have proximity with…
What does your current peer group look like?
Has anyone else come to mind?
Who in your life can you connect with that is playing at a higher level?
What will your life look like if you expand your circle of proximity?
The time is now to create the life you want.