Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.
Discover your subconscious patterns
Ask this one question and you’ll know why you do the things you do, says Tony
Whose love did you crave most growing up – your mother’s or your father’s? And who did you feel you had to be for that person?
Answering this question will not only help you understand how your identity was shaped, you will start to see just why you do the things you do. You will learn why you are the way you are now. The patterns that you fall into and the standards that you hold for yourself will all start to make sense. Because underneath all of this live six fundamental human needs that you are constantly striving to meet.
In this episode of the Real Breakthrough Series on the Tony Robbins Podcast we’re taking you back to Date With Destiny, where Tony is helping Akila overcome the subconscious boundaries that are holding her back from the life she desires.
Tony begins by asking Akila that critical question: Whose love did you crave most as a child? Because every single one of us has developed a model of the world based on the source of love we craved most growing up. This is what influences the way we think and the way we act. This is what impacts the way we filter information. And this is what forms the entire way in which we experience the world.
Tony shows us that we all create certain rule structures to support our needs. And he shows us that by uncovering our top two needs, we can begin to gain more perspective on our lives. Because when we are able to take a more objective, enlightened look at ourselves, we are able to find the way to breakthrough and break free of what is holding us back.
[01:05] Episode introduction
[03:05] Akila struggles to accept herself
[03:55] What’s preventing her from moving forward
[04:10] Whose love did you crave most?
[04:45] Who did Akila have to be for her mom?
[04:57] Perfection is the lowest standard you can have
[05:15] The 6 human needs
[05:35] The need for certainty
[07:00] What’s your order and your map?
[08:00] Many of us have rules that are inhuman
[08:15] The need for variety
[09:25] Your top two needs are your driving force
[09:40] Direction determines destiny
[10:00] Are your rules impossible to meet?
[10:30] You can get certainty in negative ways
[11:00] People will violate their own values to meet their needs
[11:55] Your model of the world stems from your childhood
[12:30] We all adapt
[13:20] The biggest drug in the world is problems
[13:35] Two primary fears
[14:00] Love is the oxygen of the soul
[15:45] How did you have to be to get love, significance
[16:15] The need for significance
[17:45} The need for love and connection
[18:45] Succeeding can put someone at risk
[19:00] Safest way to get connection for many is through problems
[20:30] Obtainable but not sustainable
[21:00] Growth and contribution
[21:15] What makes people happy?
[22:00] Sharing magnifies joy
[22:30] What are your top 2 needs?