The #1 law of attraction: Polarity

What you will learn from reading this article:

  • The definition of the law of polarity and how it relates to relationships and personal goals
  • The difference between masculine and feminine energy (and how the two don’t necessarily correspond to physical gender)
  • How you can use the law of polarity to transform your life
  • Ways to identify your own energy and how it manifests itself in your life

the law of polarity

Is there a single law that explains how the universe works? It’s a complex world we live in – and the human mind is even more complicated. But if there is one principle that comes close to making sense of it all, it’s the law of polarity.

Understanding the law of polarity is essential to living a fulfilling and happy life. The energy you put out into the world matters – not only to and for your relationships, but to all of your life goals. 

What is the law of polarity?

The law of polarity is the principle that everything has two “poles”: good and evil, love and hate, attraction and disconnection. Think of the North and South Poles on a globe or a battery with its negative and positive terminals. Everything in the universe has an opposite. Everything is dual. And it’s what allows us to experience life to the fullest and appreciate the good in the world.

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This is Newton’s Third Law of Motion, and it sums up the law of polarity perfectly. It means that forces come in pairs: negative and positive, action and reaction, masculine and feminine. You can not only nurture certain energies within yourself, but also use the law of polarity to draw other energies to you – like a magnet.

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Think of it this way: Could you know happiness without sadness? Is there love without pain? Dark without light? And in relationships, is there sexual attraction without opposing energies? We’ve all heard that “opposites attract.” It’s true – and that’s where sexual polarity comes into play.

Sexual polarity: Masculine and feminine energy

One of the strongest types of polarity is sexual polarity. Opposing masculine and feminine energies, when they are truly embraced in a relationship, are what create that “spark” of sexual energy. The more opposed the sexual energies between two people are – masculine vs. feminine energy – the stronger the attraction will be in the relationship. Physical attraction, spiritual ecstasy and intimate connection thrive in a relationship when there is a distinct sexual polarity between the energies of both partners. 

If two people have a similar sexual polarity, that is, both are more “masculine” or more “feminine,” then the attraction between them will be diminished. But if there is a strong difference, where one is extremely “feminine” and the other partner is “masculine,” then the physical attraction will be maximized. It’s “opposites attract” in action. 

In the law of polarity, masculine and feminine energies are not based on gender. Any person, male or female, can embody either energy. People with masculine energy tend to be strong, mission-driven problem-solvers seeking release from the restraints of life. They are competitive and can have trouble communicating emotions – yet they want to feel appreciated in relationships. Those with feminine energy are more open and free, ready to give and receive love. Feminine energies want to be noticed and understood, and their loving nature can make them stay too long in relationships. 

What’s most important about sexual polarity is knowing your true nature and how it manifests. If you’re in a relationship, you can use this concept to make it stronger. Looking for love? When you accept and cultivate your innate energy, you’ll naturally attract partners who complement you. Once you understand and embrace the energy you’re putting out, you will attract more of the opposite energy in return.

The other side of the law of polarity: Depolarization

Even the law of polarity has an opposite: depolarization. In sexual polarity, depolarization occurs when one partner or both try to change their energy to please the other. If a feminine partner feels unsafe or unloved, she may make up for it with more masculine tendencies. If a masculine partner feels questioned or controlled, he may become less decisive and lose direction. The partners no longer have the play of masculine and feminine energies between them. Both partners are channeling the same type of energy, which causes the relationship to become stale, tense or unbalanced. 

So how can you fix this depolarization? 

The masculine partner needs to learn to embrace the feminine force of life, no matter how wild and destructive it becomes. The feminine partner needs to not shrink when faced with the strong, powerful presence of her masculine partner. Learn to trust the wisdom of the masculine and its ability to act clearly in spite of emotions and to embrace the wisdom of the feminine and its inherent intuition and focus on love. 

Tony says, “What makes a relationship work is having things is common. What makes a relationship passionate is things being different.” You can reclaim sexual polarity – and reclaim the passion.

Transform your life with the law of polarity

There’s more to this law of attraction than sexual polarity. The law of polarity gives us a powerful tool to change our mindsets: When we understand there is a positive to every negative, we can choose to focus on the positive. 

When we get stuck in a negative rut, it can be hard to see that there is any other way of looking at the world. If you are lonely, unhappy with your career or feeling unfulfilled, you probably focus on these feelings. These negative thoughts always seem to be followed by negative events in your life, which reinforces the negative thoughts. It’s a seemingly endless cycle, but you can break it. 

To master the law of polarity and apply it to every facet of your life, you must first correct your underlying limiting beliefs. If you’re unhappy in your job, you focus all of your energy on finding a new job. On the surface, you’re focusing on the positive and trying to achieve your goals. However, if you haven’t dug deep enough to identify the underlying limiting belief for your distress – perhaps fear of failure or a belief that you don’t deserve happiness – you will continue to attract unsatisfying jobs.  

The same rule applies to sexual polarity. If you’re not able to embrace your natural energy in your relationship, it may be due to your limiting beliefs. Underlying beliefs that you are not enough or that your partner will reject you may cause you to mask your true energy. Being hurt in previous relationships can also cause us to put on this mask, and we start to focus on pleasing others rather than letting our true selves shine. Are you masking your true self in your relationship? 

law of attraction for male lifecycle depicting mask types

Are you more masculine or more feminine? Have you put a mask over your true energy? Once you examine your limiting beliefs and harness the law of polarity, you can bring the passion back to your relationship – or attract the right partner to you – and transform every part of your life.


Take Tony Robbins’ Gender Quotient quiz to discover your leading energy. As you understand the polarity between masculine and feminine, you’ll have the power and knowledge to create a thriving relationship.