The #1 law of attraction: Polarity

What you will learn from reading this article:

  • The definition of the law of polarity and how it relates to relationships and personal goals
  • The difference between masculine and feminine energy (and how the two don’t necessarily correspond to physical gender)
  • How you can use the law of polarity to transform your life
  • Ways to identify your own energy and how it manifests itself in your life

the law of polarity

Is there a single law that explains how the universe works? It’s a complex world we live in – and the human mind is even more complicated. But if there is one principle that comes close to making sense of it all, it’s the law of polarity.

Understanding the law of polarity is essential to living a fulfilling and happy life. The energy you put out into the world matters – not only to and for your relationships, but to all of your life goals. 

What is the law of polarity?

The law of polarity is the principle that everything has two “poles”: good and evil, love and hate, attraction and disconnection. Think of the North and South Poles on a globe or a battery with its negative and positive terminals. Everything in the universe has an opposite. Everything is dual. And it’s what allows us to experience life to the fullest and appreciate the good in the world.

Could you know happiness without sadness? Is there love without pain? Dark without light? And in relationships, is there sexual attraction without opposing energies? We’ve all heard that “opposites attract.” That’s the law of polarity explained in two words. In fact, the law of polarity is also called the law of opposites.

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Here’s another one: “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This is Newton’s Third Law of Motion, and it sums up the law of polarity perfectly. It means that forces come in pairs: negative and positive, action and reaction, masculine and feminine. You can not only nurture certain energies within yourself, but also use the law of attraction to draw other energies to you – like a magnet.

How to use the law of polarity in your life

Look around you and you’ll start to see this law of opposites everywhere. Once you recognize it, you can learn how to use it to your advantage and manifest what you want in every aspect of your life.


Applied to relationships, the law of polarity works like this: the more opposed the sexual energies between two people are – masculine vs. feminine energy – the stronger the attraction will be in the relationship. Sexual attraction, spiritual ecstasy and intimate connection thrive in a relationship when there is a distinct polarity between the energies of both partners.

If two people have a similar sexual polarity, that is, both are more “masculine” or more “feminine,” then the attraction between them will be diminished. But if there is a strong difference, where one is extremely “feminine” and the other partner is “masculine,” then the physical attraction will be maximized. It’s “opposites attract” in action.

Whether you’re in a relationship and want to make it stronger, or are looking to attract the right partner, you can use this law of opposites. First you must cultivate your own natural energy, be it masculine or feminine.

Masculine and feminine energies are not based on gender. Any person, male or female, can embody either energy. What’s most important to make the law of polarity work for you in relationships is knowing what your true nature is and how it manifests. Once you understand and embrace the energy you’re putting out, you will attract more of the opposite energy in return.

Are you more masculine or more feminine? Whichever “pole” you fall into, embrace it. When you accept and cultivate your innate energy, you’ll naturally attract partners who complement you.

Personal goals

The law of polarity gives us a powerful tool to change our mindsets: When we understand there is a positive to every negative, we can choose to focus on the positive.

When we get stuck in a negative rut, it can be hard to see that there is any other way of looking at the world. If you are lonely, unhappy with your career or feeling unfulfilled, you probably focus on these feelings. These negative thoughts always seem to be followed by negative events in your life, which  reinforces the negative thoughts. It’s a seemingly endless cycle, but you can break it.

This is where the law of attraction comes in. The law of attraction is the principle that we attract what we focus on, or as Tony says, ““Whatever you consistently think about and focus upon you move toward.”

Have you ever focused all your attention on something you didn’t like? An unfulfilling social life, a lack of motivation to exercise or an unsatisfying job can cause you to get stuck in this cycle of negative feelings. But when you changed your perspective to focus on what you do have, everything seemed to fall into place.

The law of polarity tells us that every negative has a positive – and you must find the positive. Then you can use the law of attraction to achieve what you want in life.

law of attraction for female lifecycle depicting various masks

The other side of the law of polarity: Depolarization

Yes, even the law of opposites has an opposite! Depolarization occurs when you don’t embrace your natural energy or fully commit to your goals.

 In relationships, depolarization occurs when one partner or both try to change their energy to please the other. If a feminine partner feels unsafe or unloved, she may make up for it with more masculine tendencies. If a masculine partner feels questioned or controlled, he may become less decisive and lose direction. The partners no longer have the play of masculine and feminine energies between them. Both partners are channeling the same type of energy, which causes the relationship to become stale, tense or unbalanced.

 Your internal energy can also be depolarized if you haven’t corrected your underlying limiting beliefs. In order for the law of polarity to work for you, all your energies must be aligned. For example, if you’re unhappy in your job, you focus all of your energy on finding a new job. On the surface, you’re focusing on the positive. However, if you haven’t dug deep enough to identify the underlying limiting belief for your distress – perhaps fear of failure or a belief that you don’t deserve happiness – you will continue to attract unsatisfying jobs. 

So how can you fix this depolarization?

The masculine partner needs to learn to embrace the feminine force of life, no matter how wild and destructive it becomes. The feminine partner needs to not shrink when faced with the strong, powerful presence of her masculine partner. Learn to trust the wisdom of the masculine and its ability to act clearly in spite of emotions and to embrace the wisdom of the feminine and its inherent intuition and focus on love.

Individually, determine the limiting beliefs that are holding you back so that you can make a conscious effort to remedy them. In addition to focusing your energy on your goals, you must change your self-talk to focus on the positive. Only when your energy is fully aligned will you attract the positive.

 Understand this law of opposites and you’ll be on your way to creating the life you truly want.

law of attraction for male lifecycle depicting mask types


Take Tony Robbins’ Gender Quotient quiz to discover your leading energy. As you understand the polarity between masculine and feminine, you’ll have the power and knowledge to create a thriving relationship.