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How to make instant connections

Building rapport is more than just small talk

Connecting with others is crucial to success in business and personal relationships as well as our overall well-being. However, learning how to connect with someone is not always easy, especially if your trust has been betrayed or you don’t have good relationship role models. Here are five ways you can form an instant connection with anyone and build a foundation for a deeper relationship.

1. Use mirroring when connecting with others

Up to 93% of who we are, and what we respond to, is nonverbal. We gravitate toward those like us or those who are what we aspire to be. A useful tip for connecting with others is to match and mirror the people we meet.

If their energy is high, increase yours to match. If their energy is low, level yours off to show you’re of kindred mind and spirit. Talk with your hands if they do. Raise or lower your voice with theirs. You can mirror people’s methods of touch and match the strength or delicacy of their handshake. Mimic their breathing patterns and their posture, facial expressions, tempo, and tone.

We naturally mirror those we feel a connection to, but the reverse has proven just as powerful. And we can organically stimulate that meaningful connection in others by initiating the process ourselves. This turns everyday interactions into an experience that leaves people with a lasting, positive impression of you. Just as importantly, you’ll have a lasting, positive impression of them.

2. Take a genuine interest in those you meet

How to connect with people usually boils down to just one word: caring. To show someone you care about them, you need to take a genuine interest in their lives. Ask thoughtful and insightful questions – no matter how different you are, you’ll find something of interest to connect over. Instead of thinking about your next response or your own stories, focus solely on them and show empathy for how they feel. This works in both personal and business settings. Once you show you are genuinely interested in the other person, a connection will naturally form.

3. Make others feel good

Want to learn how to build connections with others? Shine the spotlight on them and make them see that they are important. This could mean asking for advice or insight and deeply listening to their answers, or it could mean talking up the other person to those around you. Give genuine compliments, relay kind words others have said about them or even give thoughtful gifts. The point is that making others feel important and valued lays the groundwork for a solid connection.

4. Look for common ground

If you want to improve your chances of connecting with others, you need to look for areas of common ground when you communicate. Though it’s impossible to agree on everything, you can usually find at least a few areas where you have similar opinions, which are ripe for meaningful conversation. If you don’t agree on something, be respectful and discreetly move on to another topic where there is less opportunity for conflict.

5. Watch your body language

Much of communication is nonverbal and humans are wired to pick up on subtle clues to alert them to the true intentions of those they are interacting with. If you’re talking with someone and constantly looking around the room, breaking eye contact, glancing at your phone or giving other indications that you aren’t interested, you won’t make a good impression. When looking for how to connect with someone, the answer can be as easy as holding eye contact and focusing your attention on what they’re saying. If you do have to put your focus elsewhere, apologize and explain what you’re doing, then re-establish your focus.

How to build connections with people you want to meet

Your environment is huge when it comes to building connections with new people in both the personal and the business world. It’s hard to connect when there are distractions such as loud music, too many people or an event you need to pay attention to. Identify those you want to connect with and then find smaller, quieter venues where you can get to know them better. If you’re in a large networking group, schedule one-on-one time with those you want to connect with. If you meet a potential friend or romantic partner at a party, ask if you can grab a coffee the next day. When learning how to connect with people, you need to set yourself up for success and creating the right environment is key.

Learn how to connect with people by attending Date with Destiny

If you’re having problems connecting with others, it’s impacting your happiness and fulfillment. Learn how to discover your true passion and how to connect with someone who can share that passion by attending Tony’s live event, Date with Destiny.

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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