8 ways to practice self-love
“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.” – Tony Robbins
Our beliefs are a mighty force in our lives. Beliefs create our world – more than facts, more than current events, more than past experiences. If you’re wondering how to practice self-love, you probably have beliefs – about yourself, your abilities and your worth – that aren’t true. In order to love yourself, you must first discover and accept who you really are.
No one knows this better than Byron Katie, creator of “The Work” method and best-selling author. Katie was deeply depressed, drinking too much and unhappy with her life. Then one morning she had a life-changing realization: her state wasn’t because of the world around her; it was because of what she believed about the world around her. She began questioning those beliefs and started down a path of practicing self-love as well as love for everything life brings.
When you do the work, you’ll begin to feel the same way.
Examine your thoughts
Practicing self-love starts with self-reflection. You must become aware of the limiting beliefs that are preventing you from being your true self. Byron Katie says “You either believe what you think or you question it.” Those who question their thoughts become experts at how to practice self-love. She advises examining your thoughts with four questions: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react when you believe that thought? Who would you be without that thought?
Rewrite your story
The last question is especially powerful. When you ask yourself, “Who would I be without this thought?” you’re able to begin rewriting your story. You’re able to free yourself from your past history and think about the future instead.
The future is filled only with possibilities. As Tony says, “We can change our lives. We can do, have and be exactly what we wish.” Believe that, and you’re well on your way to learning how to practice self-love.
Practice acceptance
“Investigating an untrue thought will always lead you back to who you really are,” says Katie. Then your journey toward practicing self-love truly begins. It’s easy to love our best traits – but we all have traits we need to work on. We get anxious. We get angry. We’re impatient or quick-tempered. Those who know how to practice self-love realize that all of these emotions are there to serve you. Accept these emotions and learn how to use them, rather than being used by them.
Assign new meanings
Using emotions before they use you is about assigning them new meanings. Tony says, “Beliefs and values and rules control the meanings we make up, and out of our meanings come emotions, and out of emotions come our lives.” You control the way you feel. You can stop negative thoughts in their tracks and replace them with empowering beliefs. Changing your mindset is the first step toward how to practice self-love.
Go after what you really want
Once you realize that you write your own story – that you are in control of your choices and your destiny – you’ll feel a sense of empowerment like never before. You’ll realize there’s no point in comparing yourself to others, because their journey is not yours. You’ll be able to stop caring about others’ perceptions and expectations of you and determine what you really want. Going after your dreams is the ultimate form of practicing self-love.
Create good habits
Proper nutrition, exercise and sleep habits, plus practicing relaxing rituals like priming are some of the best ways to practice self-love. Good habits don’t end there. Learn to surround yourself with the right people. Learn how to say no. Always do things that make you feel joyful, like cooking, making music or dancing around the house. Feeding both your body and your mind with healthy habits creates an endless feedback loop of self-care and self-love.
Forgive
Of all the ways to practice self-love, forgiveness is one of the most significant. You must forgive others for perceived wrongs, freeing yourself from a negative story and creating a positive one in its place. You must also forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has thoughts we’re not proud of. But as Katie says, “I don’t let go of my thoughts. I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me.”
Find your beautiful state
Many people make the mistake of thinking that learning how to practice self-love means being happy all the time. While you can’t live in a state of constant happiness, you can live in a consistently beautiful state. “This beautiful state could be driven or creative or feeling playful or curious or a sense of awe,” says Tony. Sometimes events are out of our control – but we always control how we react to them.
Once you begin to live by these principles for practicing self-love, you can always react from a place of acceptance and forgiveness, and live in a beautiful state for the rest of your life.
Are you ready to experience a beautiful state?
Reaching a beautiful state of self-love and acceptance starts with examining your limiting beliefs. Download this free guide to get started.