Shape the extraordinary life you deserve at Date with Destiny
It’s a question as old as time: “What is my purpose in life?” As far back as the fourth century BC, Aristotle was pondering life’s purpose and developing his theory of teleology, or the idea that everything in life has purpose. And in today’s fast-paced, technology-filled world where we are being pulled in many directions at once, finding your purpose seems more important than ever.
Many people spend their lives reacting to situations instead of being proactive and figuring out the needs and values that drive them. Even when they think they know their purpose, they often mistake it with a short-term goal. Many others who are asking themselves this question truly want to find meaning – but they have no idea how to find purpose in life.
Tony says, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying” – which is why growth is addictive to many of us. We naturally only feel fulfilled when we’re improving ourselves or our lives in some way. Everything in life is calling to us to grow. When we stop growing, we start feeling pain, fear and anxiety. We are then susceptible to envy as we look around and see what everyone else has that we don’t. Instead of asking “What is my purpose in life?,” you start coveting status, material goods and power. But all those things will ultimately leave you feeling empty.
Goals, like buying a house or opening a business, yield a sense of achievement and are essential to living the life you desire. But purpose takes your life to an even higher level. At Date With Destiny, Tony tells everyone in the room: “I will tell you right now, there’s one word that will give you happiness, one. You’ll remember it as long as you live: progress. Progress equals happiness. Achieving goals does not equal happiness.” So if you’re asking yourself, “What is my purpose?,” what you’re really asking for is progress – a true sense of fulfillment. And fulfillment isn’t a luxury or leisure activity – it’s a necessity.
Research shows that finding your purpose is linked to living longer. Researchers surveyed nearly 7,000 older adults on the relationship between mortality and finding your purpose. Participants who did not have a strong sense of meaning in their lives were more than twice as likely to die prematurely as those who had figured out their purpose in life. Having a sense of purpose also reduced the incidence of cardiovascular events like heart attack and stroke. These results were universal, even when controlled for income, race, gender and education level. Researchers concluded that asking yourself what your purpose in life is – and finding it – is as important for longevity as is living a healthy lifestyle.
If you’re feeling lost in life, ungrounded and without a sense of purpose, it can be a very disorienting feeling. You may feel frustrated with yourself and your lack of direction. Be gentle with yourself. Everyone who has ever asked themselves “What is my purpose?” began from a place of uncertainty. Their hesitancy was what prompted them to dig deep and find greater meaning.
When you feel depleted searching for meaning in life, take a deep breath and center yourself. It’s by looking within that you’re able to identify your values – the beliefs you hold most dear as a guiding force in life. So be patient as you learn how to find purpose in life. With each limiting belief you identify and replace with an empowering belief, you develop greater self-awareness. And when you’re in control of your emotions, you’re in control of your life.
It is a combination of the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment that creates the road to happiness and a life of meaning. To succeed in finding your purpose, you must master this balance.
The questions “What is my purpose in life?” and “How can I be happy?” are actually the same. If you let your past conditioning control how you evaluate that and dictate how to discover your purpose, you’re going to live a life based on others’ expectations. You can never truly understand how to find your purpose by looking outside of yourself. Everything you need is right at your fingertips.
If you focus only on achieving short-term goals, you will never find your true passion or learn how to find your purpose. The goals you work toward must always be based on finding your purpose. If they’re not, you’ll only feel a fleeting sense of accomplishment and will soon be seeking something more. You won’t be able to see that life is happening for you instead of to you.
If you develop a value system and focus on an abundance mindset, your purpose in life becomes much clearer. You question less and less how to find your purpose because you feel like you have more of the answers and that you are on the path to achieving meaningful goals.
True fulfillment comes from designing your own life. This is how you unlock the extraordinary. To find your purpose, you must decide what’s truly right, and know it in your heart and soul. You must not let yourself be driven by fear or anxiety. A decision made from fear is always the wrong decision. It will not help you understand “What is my purpose?” but instead confuse the issue even more.
Can you pick up a pencil and sketch a lifelike portrait? Have you always been able to pick out a tune on a piano after you’ve heard it only once? When you look closely at the activities or skills that have always come easily to you, you’ll likely stumble upon passions that you can turn into a profitable career.
Before you can ask yourself “What is my purpose?” you first have to know what an ideal world looks like and how you fit into it. Creating a life vision statement involves identifying what life would look like if everyone were living up to their fullest potential. This will help you develop a roadmap to guide you in the proper direction.
When asking themselves “What is my purpose in life?”, some people don’t even know where to start. If you fall into this category, it helps to look back on your life and identify the times when you felt the most joy. Was it when you were connecting with your partner? Making a successful presentation at work? When you discover what brings you joy, you usually discover where your passions lie.
Writing helps us organize our thoughts – and discover new ones we may not even know we had. We’ve all encountered obstacles in our lives. What strengths do you have that helped you get through tough times? How have you helped others? And how have other people helped you? Putting your life in writing can reveal hidden meanings you may not see otherwise.
“What is my purpose?” is a deep question that takes time and reflection to answer. When you spend all your time running from one commitment to another, you never have time to just sit quietly and reconnect with yourself. Make sure you schedule enough personal time to reduce the noise and demands of the outer world and focus on what you want.
Part of finding your purpose is accepting your own limitations. Instead of getting frustrated with yourself, give yourself a break. Get to know yourself bit by bit, taking the role of observer. As you practice self-compassion while building self-awareness, you’re able to find the meaning you’re seeking.
Finding your purpose in life is often about discovering where you fit in. When we meet our “people,” we feel like we are home: relaxed and at ease, able to truly be ourselves. Your community can often help you discover how to find your purpose, or to live your purpose once you’ve found it. The saying “You are who your friends are” is true – and when you find the right community, it’s a good thing.
Your purpose in life is likely to grow and change as you grow and change, so be flexible. You might also find that learning how to find your purpose may require letting go of an old identity or interest. Being flexible lets you grow in integrity while being true to yourself. When you develop your core values and stop seeking external affirmation, you’ll find that the question of “What is my purpose in life?” is much easier to answer.
Attending Date With Destiny will bring you closer to finding your purpose and give you the skill set you need to succeed. Sign up for Date With Destiny and discover a tangible way to work toward and achieve your goals.