The #1 decision you will ever make

How to move from a state of suffering to a state of peace

There is a single decision that, when you make it on a consistent basis, will change the course of your life – and in this episode of the Tony Robbins Podcast, you’ll learn what that decision is, why it is so important, and how to make it. .

Listen as Tony coaches a woman who believes she has to be perfect to be loved. Her drive to please others is causing a state of unnecessary suffering and depression – and negatively affecting every aspect of her life.

Tony uses this story to explore how our emotional states impact our worldview. When we default to a lens of depression, how do we see the world? This lens – our emotional state – colors the way we react to the people we meet and the obstacles that come our way. 

But think about when you’re in a state of peace. Do you react to people and problems the same way? Does adversity rattle you as much as when you’re in a depressive state? No – when you are in what Tony calls a “beautiful state” you control your experience of life.

Changing our emotional state – and shifting our emotional home – also changes the way we react to the situations we encounter. When you understand why and how this works, you will take your emotions back into your own hands.

Listen on iTunes

Going through life in a depressive state is a very different experience from living in a peaceful state. Tony says the most important decision you can make is to shift your life – to live in a beautiful and peaceful state.

But in order to truly have freedom and live a beautiful life, we have to discover what is making us suffer.

Everyone has an emotional home –  the emotional state that we return to which has been formed by our conditions and unconsciousness. But is that emotional home causing us to suffer more? If it is, how do we shift our emotional home to be one of joy and peace?

To make this shift, we must step out of the idea that our lives are shaped by our conditions and into the understanding that our lives are shaped by our decisions. When we decide to direct our focus to a place of peace, we can cultivate a life of love, joy, growth and appreciation. 

Once you make the decision to master your mind and choose a beautiful state, you can start living the life you were meant to.

This episode of the Tony Robbins podcast is part of a breakthrough series that takes you, the listener, inside of game-changing events: Date with Destiny, Unleash the Power Within and Business Mastery. You’ll get to hear Tony work one-on-one with real people as he leads them through powerful transformations.

"suffering is living in any state that is not beautiful" - tony robbins


[00:36] Episode introduction
[02:20] What is life about?
[02:48] Perfection and pleasing others
[04:50] Allowing her mother to control her life
[05:40] Ideals use you
[06:00] Uncover what makes you suffer
[06:15] Do you experience frustration?
[06:25] Forms of suffering
[06:50] The first step is awareness
[07:50] Giving more value to ideals
[08:50] Decisions
[09:20] Suffering is not in the fact
[10:00] The meaning you give
[10:50] You emotional home
[12:00] Our parents did the best they could
[13:45] What does an extraordinary life look like?
[15:50] When do people really start to live?
[18:00] Going through 9/11
[22:20] Anger gives significance and certainty
[22:30] Stop settling for a subpar emotional home
[25:30] What is your model of the world?
[27:00] Everyone returns to their emotional home

Tony Robbins

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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