A letter to new fathers

This post was written by Scott Harris: coach, mentor and a speaker at many of Tony’s events – who is a proud father of four.

“Honey, there’s 2 lines!”

Any man who’s ever had their significant other say this to them knows what that sentence means instantly – life is about to change – and it’s never going to be the same again.

When I first heard it I was 39 a long way from where I thought I would be at that age, and asking myself the question…”Can I afford this?”

Fast forward 8 years and I mean FAST forward and I am blessed to have 4 children (I know!), best of all I am married to the kindest, smartest, funniest, prettiest, sexiest person I have ever met in my entire life. Happily together now for 12 years, I have managed to create a successful business, I have reasonable health and I adore my family; which means, for the most part, we seem to be making it all work! And looking back here’s what I have learned…

I know the temptation (and cultural conditioning) is to want to provide ‘the very best’ for our children. To have a big home, and a new car, and send them to the ‘best school’, and do all the ‘right’ thing. I know we want our children to learn a second language, study advanced math and science, take music lessons, and play soccer, little league and take dance classes.

As fathers, it’s in our nature to want to provide, to build, to protect and take care of our tribe. And so we go to work! HARD work!

We push ourselves, stretch ourselves, put ourselves right on the very edge of financial suicide in order to appear to make things look good, or ‘do the right things’. We work more hours than we should, take on more clients than we can, stress and worry more than our bodies can handle – all under the guise of wanting to be a perfect father and a good provider. And sadly, there are consequences for those habits.

I had three fathers before I was twelve – and only one of them was much good – and that for too short a time! It made me constantly seek advice and wisdom from older, wiser heads than me. From my best friend’s dad, to my football coach, to the manager of the grocery store I worked in as a teenager, to my always-a-generation-older-than-me business partners, I was always looking for a fatherly figure. So much so, that when my wife first told me about the ‘2 line’ result the first thing I did was start asking for help… from men older than me.

I have met with over 45 men in the last 8 years, all of them a generation older than I, asking for their advice and wisdom on all things to do with ‘life.’And what I got back was a mixed bag relating to money, marriage, wealth creation, religion and business. Like most mixed bags, some was good stuff to be used again, much was old out of date, and some was just wrong from the start.

But one thing stood out as being profoundly unique. Every single 65+ year old man I have spoke to in the last 8 years has all said some version of the following sentence…
“I wish I spent more time with my children

And so for the last eight years, I have lived by this creed. Yes, I’ve worked intelligently and consistently at creating income, building wealth and enjoying a nice lifestyle. But never, ever at the cost of spending time with my cherubs. There is just not a moment to waste!

As some one who creates their income from coaching, speaking and mentoring around the world – with a focus almost exclusively on income generation and wealth creation – my very best financial advice to you is to spend more time with your children. Because it all goes too fast. Time. It just keeps moving.

Making money is a relatively simple science. As Tony teaches, continually add more value than anyone else to your clients (or employer) and reap the rewards. Live intelligently and deliberately beneath your income level (spend less than you earn), surround yourself with great mentors and role models (I still participate in Tony Robbins events after 20 years), all the while investing wisely.

While on your way to make your millions don’t miss the precious moments – the snuggling, the imaginary dance shows, and the water fights. Right now – go talk to your teenager, or play with that 10-year-old, and especially go watch that tiny, brand new baby open its eyes and smile. Money can wait; children can’t.

Happy Father’s Day.

Live deliberately,

Scott Harris