There's a force behind every decision you make.
It's deeper than the pros and cons, the spreadsheets, the advice from other people, and the voice in your head telling you what you should do. That force is your values.
Your values are what matter most to you, what is worth protecting, what you tolerate, and what success looks like.
Whether you've consciously chosen those values or simply inherited them from your family, culture, and experiences, they influence your life every day.
So the real question is whether you've intentionally chosen your values.
Your values are already setting the standard
If you ask most people about their values, they can write out a string of words: family, money, travel, friends, adventure.
But ask what family gives you or what money gives you, and you'll get the real answer: love, security, or freedom.
See, a value is an emotional state you'll do almost anything to experience or avoid. A rule is what has to happen before you'll let yourself feel it.
The second list is your end values, or the destination. They are the emotional states or experiences that you truly want.
The first least is the means values, they are the actions or achievements that will get you to your end values. Things like money, a career, a marriage, or a nice house.
The end values are what run your decisions.
If you value security above almost everything else, you'll make very different choices than someone who values freedom. If you value achievement above connection, your calendar may look very different from someone who puts relationships first.
Neither is automatically right or wrong.
The problem comes when you don't know what's actually driving you. That's why it's so important to get clear on the beliefs and values that are influencing how you think, feel, and behave.
The cost of misalignment
When your values and your life don't align, you kickstart a cycle of frustration.
You might say family is your highest priority, but your calendar is filled with 70-hour workweeks and very little time at home.
