This article was contributed by special guest David Hilton of LIFE Marriage Retreats – see full bio below.
One thing that is crucial to every intimate relationship is maintaining a strong sense of connection. When you’re truly connected with your partner, you feel secure, understood, and as if you could conquer the world together. But how do you maintain that connection in the midst of life’s inevitable stressors? The answer is different than what you may think, as it all comes down to supporting your partner in satisfying their own personal needs. As Tony says, a relationship is not a place you go to get, it’s a place you go to give – and when you focus on your partner’s needs as if they were your own, you’ll experience a level of connection and fulfillment that you have never experienced before.
I have the pleasure of working with couples as a counselor at LIFE Marriage retreats. One couple, Sam and Linda, have two young children. Sam works 12+ hours per day as a physician, and often arrives home tired and hungry. Linda wakes up multiple times a night with their seven-month-old son, and is busy managing their home. The little time they have together at the end of each day is spent bickering about who has done more, and who gets to take a break first. Their personal needs are not being met, and they blame one another for it. Instead of strengthening their connection, they are pushing each other further away at the unfortunate risk of losing their connection completely.
