Love: It’s one of the few things in life that can create intense pleasure or intense pain in our lives. It’s the one force that has the power to put you on top of the clouds or in a deep, dark hole. Yet, no matter how much experience we gain in love, it seems like we’re all still figuring it out as we go.
Is love blind?
As neuroscientist and best-selling author Abhijit Naskar once said, “The brain becomes illogical in the throes of new romance.” Something that makes it hard to figure out how to build healthy expectations and a sustainable connection is that in the beginning, love is blind. When you are in the midst of deep love, when the world is filled with rainbows and butterflies, everything your partner does is right. This is where the term “love is blind” comes from. You are so “blinded” by love that you cannot see any of your lover’s flaws.
Understand your unique relationship needs to create a stronger bond together.
Why is love blind? Why do we feel this way? Why do we act as though our partner doesn’t have any perceivable flaws or shortcomings? Because in the beginning, we are loving from our hearts, not our heads.
When you first get together with a romantic partner, it’s easy to block out any red flags or character flaws. You’re in the lusting phase of your relationship. In this heightened state of attraction, we tend to give our partners more leeway. There’s more space for them to make mistakes because the rules we have created within the relationships are different, and we have fewer of them. And in many cases, you don’t have any rules — you’re just thrilled to be in the same room with them. You feel lucky to have the opportunity to make them happy. No matter what they do or what they say, you are infatuated with the idea of them.
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You can’t always control the circumstances of your life, but you can choose to have an extraordinary life. There’s no shortage of advice on happiness and how to live a fulfilling life. But most of it lies at one of two extremes. You either focus on achieving external goals – like more money, vibrant health, and better relationships – or […]
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Love: It’s one of the few things in life that can create intense pleasure or intense pain in our lives. It’s the one force that has the power to put you on top of the clouds or in a deep, dark hole. Yet, no matter how much experience we gain in love, it seems like […]
When you’re at the beginning of your relationship, you’re fully loving from the heart, not the head. You throw caution to the wind and embrace the feeling of love and infatuation. This is why love is blind. In those early days, you’re not measuring or analyzing—you’re just experiencing. I’ve seen this at every event I’ve ever run: people light up, they’re alive, and they’re willing to do anything for their partner. That’s the magic of new love.
The Experience of Blind Love
When someone is loving from the heart, their thoughts sound like this:
What would make my partner happy?
What would turn them on?
I’m going to go to the ends of the earth to find out—and I’m going to have fun doing it. I’m going to enjoy learning about them and exploring all kinds of things together. I’m going to feel alive, I’m going to make this relationship perfect.
This experience is universal. That’s why there are so many “love is blind” quotes and stories—it’s incredibly relatable. Almost all of us have met someone who sweeps us off our feet. We want to do everything in our power to keep the relationship going, no matter the cost. I remember at one of my Date With Destiny events, a couple shared how they drove across three states just to spend a single night together. That’s the power of blind love.
When Reality Sets In: The End of Blind Love
But where are the doubts? Where are the rules? If relationships were truly this easy, everyone would be in a happy union. In the “blind” stage, you don’t think about how much you’re giving or whether your partner matches up to some ideal. But eventually, something shifts. The heart gives way to the head. You start to notice things you ignored before. The honeymoon phase fades, and reality sets in.
“When you’re in attraction, love is easy. When you’re not attracted, you get in your head. You leave your heart and your body and you go to your head.” — Tony Robbins
Loving With Your Head: The Role of Logic in Relationships
Rabbi Julius Gordon said, “Love is not blind. It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” Once your head takes over, you become more aware of your partner’s traits—especially the ones you overlooked. Logic is a powerful tool, but in relationships, it can be destructive if it takes over. You start thinking, “I wonder what they’ll do for my birthday. I planned such a great day for theirs, but they haven’t even mentioned mine. What if they forget? How can I have a partner who doesn’t know I don’t like ginger?”
I’ve coached thousands of couples who hit this stage. Suddenly, the little things that were once cute become annoying. You start keeping score. You create rules in your mind about what your partner should do, and when they don’t meet those expectations, frustration builds.
Discover your leading energy to live a more authentic, aligned life
When you let the little things stack up, resentment and tension grow. You might start to punish your partner for their flaws, and that can escalate into a series of rejections that become toxic. Eventually, you might feel so repressed or helpless that you turn your attention elsewhere—work, kids, friends, hobbies. I’ve seen this pattern over and over. At Unleash the Power Within, I ask people, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” If you focus on what’s missing, you’ll always find it.
How to Keep Love Alive: Moving Beyond Blindness
Here’s the good news: you can learn the five disciplines of love and maintain attraction through the power of polarity. When you’re in attraction, love is easy. When you’re not, you get in your head. You leave your heart and your body, and you go to your head. I teach that passion in a relationship is about embracing both the similarities and the differences—especially the masculine and feminine energies. When you understand polarity, you can reignite that spark.
One couple I worked with had been married for 20 years and felt the passion was gone. By helping them rediscover their natural energies and focus on giving instead of keeping score, they found a new level of connection. It’s not about going back to being “blind”—it’s about seeing clearly and loving anyway.
Next Steps for a Passionate Relationship
If you want to go deeper, consider attending Date With Destiny or exploring my Ultimate Relationship Program. Remember, it’s never too late to save your relationship or make it extraordinary. Love may be blind early on, but with the right insights and principles, you can learn to see your partner clearly and appreciate them even more as time goes on.Let me ask you: Which stage do you feel you’re in right now—loving from the heart, or from the head?
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