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The 5 Disciplines of Love

How to create your ultimate relationship

Valentine’s Day might be over, but cultivating passion in your relationship should be an ongoing adventure. A sexy, exciting partnership takes focus and dedication to create — and it will light up every part of your life.

Whether you’re single or committed, these 5 Disciplines of Love will help you create a relationship full of earth-shaking excitement, joy and passion.

1. The Discipline of Unconditional Love & Compassion

Always put your lover first—it’s not about you! When you fully develop the skill of heartfelt understanding, you become conscious of your partner’s inner life. Rather than being an observer and critic, you feel what they feel and you will discover the deepest pleasure in your relationship—sexual and otherwise.

2. The Discipline of Absolute Courage & Vulnerability

Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Be present for your lover even during the most painful situations. Don’t just be physically present, be fully present– giving your lover your undivided focus. Any time you lose trust, interest or commitment, you drift closer to behaviors of criticism and rejection. Stay connected! Cultivate your commitment the way you would a precious flower. Your relationship will flourish no matter what your life circumstances may be.

3. The Discipline of Knowing the Truth

Here’s the truth: It’s a no-blame game. There’s an art to expressing mild upset without creating bigger problems. When you let something bother you, your partner will feel blamed. However, when something goes wrong, you must express yourself spontaneously, and from the heart. It’s crucial you set the context carefully for anything you share. Remember to use phrases that avoid blame.

4. The Discipline of Telling Yourself the Truth

Commit to moment-to-moment awareness of the impact of your state. If the basis of trust is confidence in your partner, then you must begin with confidence in yourself. Without it, you cannot induce lasting trust in others. When you can be yourself, others will perceive that and build trust in you. Hold true to the generosity of your highest intentions.

5. The Discipline of Giving Freedom

The power of forgiving, forgetting and flooding. Why drag along the baggage of past mistakes? Whenever we have painful experiences, we can learn from them or use them to punish ourselves or others. People often blame their partners for past misdeeds. If you want passion, set your partner free. See their mistake from their perspective. Consciously harness the good in life to bring greater pleasure and intimacy.

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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