Great minds have always debated the true key to happiness. What do you need to be happy? Some say fame, others say fortune; still others search in vain for a fountain of youth. Ours is a culture of wants and needs — and most of us convince ourselves that once we get what it is we want, we’ll be happy. Evidence to the contrary be damned: that big new house or fast car will indeed make me happy.
We’ve all been there — we’ve all coveted something at one point or another. But of course, we know it’s not stuff that makes us happy. Instead, real and lasting happiness comes from something different entirely; something elegantly simple and entirely attainable. And yet it continues to elude us.
First, let’s look at three kinds of happiness that don’t ever last:
Rock Star Happiness
Rock star happiness is all about getting what you want. Even though the Rolling Stones told us “you can’t always get what you want,” we still want it—whatever it is. And we think it will make us happy. And I can tell you with 100% certainty, that of all of the rock stars I’ve met and worked with over the past 30 years, they are not the happiest people in the world. Inevitably, I get the call where [insert your favorite rock star here] calls and says, “How come I have everything I ever wanted and I’m miserable?” And the answer is this: getting what you want may give you pleasure, but it doesn’t make you happy. Plenty of people with ample wealth, fancy toys and fast cars still find themselves disillusioned.
Lowered Expectations
Perhaps happiness comes from lowered expectations. If you don’t expect too much, you just might not be disappointed. Remember how crappy the economy was in 2008 when the thought of the global economy collapsing was a real and scary possibility? By comparison, things today look better, right? It’s a simple adjustment we’ve made to our expectations, and that might give us some near-term happiness, but it’s fleeting.
