How to be the best version of yourself
We live in a fast-paced world. We’re always searching for the next big thing, and we always want more than what we have. Yet lately there’s been a trend toward looking inward for fulfillment rather than outward. We want experiences over possessions. We want flexibility over income. And we want to focus on becoming who we really are.
What does it mean to be the best version of yourself? Does it mean living up to your potential – or is there more to it?
If you’re like most people, these are the questions you’ve pondered as you search for identity, confidence and fulfillment in life. When the answers you find fall short of your expectations, you need to start asking the really important questions that lead you to understand how to maximize personal growth and be the best version of you.
Crush your limiting beliefs to become the best version of yourselfLearn How
What drives you to become the best version of yourself?
Authentic self-discovery isn’t easy. It takes courage and tenacity. To approach your essential self, you must turn away from distracting false beliefs that cloud or distort your self-perception. You need to reveal what drives you – not superficial things like money or power, but what really drives you. Your ultimate purpose in life.
If you’re feeling anxious about self-improvement, remember: Every person is completely unique. Someone else’s life path cannot be your benchmark of success, since they have different dreams, passions and skills. There is also no roadmap or ideal outcome in life, because everyone’s path is theirs and theirs alone.
Ultimately, what drives your decisions – and the key to becoming best version of yourself – are your values and your standards. Your values make you who you are, but your standards define what you’re willing to accept in life. Will you accept being anything less than your authentic, incredible, powerful self?
Identifying your values
Before you can be the best version of yourself, you must uncover your essential “you-ness” – the values, interests and passions that define who you are in life and the world. Have a conversation with yourself just like you’d have on a first date. Pretend that your ideal self is sitting there with you and ask that person: What activities do you enjoy? Who do you enjoy being around? What impact do you want to make on the world? What is your happiest memory? Be sincere and honest in your answers.
As you continue the conversation, pay attention to your feelings. If you notice “negative” emotions like anxiety or anger, you’re probably telling yourself subtle negative messages that obscure your conversation. Dig deeper into what’s driving the feeling. Are you afraid you’ll fail at finding yourself? Are you afraid of what you’ll find when you dig deep?
As tempting as it is to feel inadequate, the truth is that each of us is fully complete just the way we are. It’s getting in touch with this essential self that will free you to be the best version of you.
How to be the best version of yourself
Once you’ve identified the person you want to be, you can plan how to become the best version of yourself. Start with the end in mind – your ideal self – and take concrete steps to get there.
1. Let go of limiting beliefs
You know who you are – but do you know who you could be? Most of us are held back by limiting beliefs: untrue thoughts we have about our intrinsic nature. By learning to recognize and let go of whatever limiting beliefs are keeping you from becoming the best version of yourself, you’re able to push forward and find the person you really are.
2. Turn your “shoulds” into “musts”
To be the best version of yourself, you need to live with no regrets. You need to get out of your comfort zone, take risks and fail – yes, fail – so that you can get back up again and succeed. Stop telling yourself what you “should” do and start doing it. Use what Tony calls the rocking chair test. Imagine yourself old and gray, reflecting on your life. What are you most proud of? What do you most regret? This will reveal your “musts.”
3. Amplify your strengths
Focus on your strengths and you’ll get even stronger in those areas, becoming more fully yourself along the way. Focusing on your strengths is also essential when you hit roadblocks – which you inevitably will. When you amplify your strengths, you remember what you’re bringing to the table, and you’ll crush the obstacles in your path.
4. Develop a growth mindset
No one is made up of only strengths. We all have pain points that require attention if you want to be the best version of yourself. Successful people tackle this by having a growth mindset. They believe that there are no weaknesses. There are only opportunities for improvement. Rather than focusing on what they do badly, they focus on how they can improve – and take action to get there.
5. Throw out expectations
Our beliefs create our world – but unfortunately, sometimes our beliefs are not our own. Like most of us, you’ve built at least part of your identity on others’ expectations. The process of internalizing others’ values was unconscious, and bringing it to consciousness is the essence of learning how to be the best version of yourself. Your vision for who you want to be must be yours – no one else’s.
6. Be willing to shed your old identity
When you determine to find your ideal self, you’re essentially raising the bar – for yourself and the people you know. Your “old self” will resist this due to feelings of insecurity and fear of the unknown. Resist the urge to cling to the familiar – the identity that’s been holding you back – and embrace a can-do attitude.
7. Tame your fears
Fear is an insidious adversary that robs us of our courage and distracts us from the present moment. Taming your fears is possible, and is necessary to better yourself. When you feel anxious, identify what you’re afraid of and write it down. Then, write down an alternative explanation that’s less scary while still being realistic. Even if your feelings don’t change right away, your mind will register the rationale. In time, the process of fact-checking your fears becomes habitual and you become less swayed by anxiety.
8. Prioritize outcomes
Since understanding how to be the best version of yourself requires looking inward for wisdom, you won’t find yourself by gathering tons of information. Let your ideal self set a goal. Pick something plain and achievable, like getting organized or reading more fiction. Making a measurable goal is one of the most effective ways to get out of your head and build confidence.
10. Create empowering rituals
No one would argue that the world’s most successful athletes, entrepreneurs and leaders have become the best versions of themselves. There’s one thing they all have in common: They’ve developed habits that make them great. This could mean meditation, priming or goal visualization to put them in an empowered state of being. It always includes eating healthy and exercising. And more often than not, it includes practicing gratitude every day.
11. Have compassion for yourself
Being the best version of yourself is about you – not other people. Stop comparing yourself to others and recognize that everyone is on a different path. If you’re not where you’d like to be, have compassion for yourself. You’re at a crossroads, and that’s fine. Instead of scrolling through social media or getting down about a recent setback, practice self-love. Get outside and go for a walk. Do something you enjoy. Always remember to check negative self-talk and replace it with empowering words.
12. Manage yourself effectively
Part of understanding how to be the best version of yourself is learning to be your own boss through effective self-management. Effective time management sets you free from stress, steers you toward your ideal self and relieves you of others’ expectations. To stay accountable and in control of your resources, check in on your progress monthly, quarterly and yearly. Becoming your own best boss makes you a better resource for your team.
13. Stay positive
As you learn how to be the best version of yourself, you’re sure to hit roadblocks and obstacles. Instead of getting discouraged, cultivate “positive” emotions like passion, curiosity and flexibility. Look at obstacles as opportunities instead of defeats. By staying positive, you’ll find creative solutions you’d miss if you had remained bogged down in self-defeating thoughts.
14. Give back
Contribution is one of our Six Human Needs and an essential element of what makes us feel fulfilled. When we give back to our communities, we feel a greater sense of gratitude and abundance in our own lives. Volunteering – whether by giving your time, skills, knowledge or money – is one way in which you can be the best version of you no matter who you are.
Become the best version of yourself
Reach your highest potential today by attending Unleash the Power Within.