10 guiding principles of an extraordinary relationship

What you will get from this article:

  • Learn how to have a good, successful relationship via the disciplines of love and passion
  • Understand how to build extraordinary relationships by developing yourself
  • Create a plan for making your relationships exceptional

how to be in a good relationship

How do you show up for your partner? What standards do you hold yourself to in a relationship? Do you know how to be a good partner in a relationship? Or even how to be in a good relationship?

Each of us craves extraordinary relationships. Having relationships that nurture and fulfill us is at the heart of the human experience, and experiencing love and connection is one of the six basic human needs. Yet few of us understand how to find and keep love. We want results, but we don’t know what practical steps to take to get there. This is why some of the most common questions Tony Robbins encounters center on how to have a successful relationship.

If you want to create an extraordinary relationship with your partner, then you must start with yourself. Remember, a relationship is not a place you go to get something, it’s a place you go to give – to give your undivided attention, to give your energy, to give your love and to give your heart. Because the beauty is that when you give this much, you get even more in return. You create joy, passion, trust and an intimacy that transcends every obstacle and every challenge that comes your way. In fact, even the darker moments along your relationship’s journey become a blessing, and a gift that allows you and your partner to become stronger as a unit.

If you want to truly become a better partner in your relationship, then it comes down to a few fundamental rules summed up by Tony Robbins’ 10 Laws of Love and Trust.

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The 5 Disciplines of Love

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Learning how to be in a good relationship means learning how to interact with your partner in a way that enhances honest communication while allowing for trust and vulnerability. Becoming skillful at relationships requires both internal work (on yourself) and external work (on your partnership). Tony Robbins’ philosophy includes 5 Disciplines of Love to help you accomplish this.

The Discipline of Unconditional Love & Compassion: How to have a successful relationship? Always put your lover first: It’s not about you! It’s about what you are giving and how you are caring about your partner.

The Discipline of Absolute Courage and Vulnerability: Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Always remember the power of unconditional love, adoration and praise.

The Discipline of Knowing the Truth: Here is the truth: It’s a no-blame game. The key to extraordinary relationships is to know your partner’s soul and never make them wrong. Understand their needs and do what you can to satisfy those needs; it’s how to be a good partner in a relationship, no matter what comes your way.

The Discipline of Telling Yourself the Truth: Get conscious and commit to moment-to-moment awareness. Your state, body language, words and actions have a direct and potentially lasting impact on your relationship.

The Discipline of Giving Freedom: The power of forgiving, forgetting and flooding. Create a safe space for your partner to make honest mistakes and make them feel that they can take comfort in a secure relationship.

The 3 Disciplines of Passion

If your relationship lacks passion, you will need to address this to learn how to have a good relationship. After all, a relationship void of passion has not only an uncertain future but also a past rife with relationship issues. Tony Robbins’ philosophy includes three essential disciplines that will help you rebuild passion in your relationship.

The Discipline of Daily Passion & Playfulness: Wondering how to be in a good relationship? Nurture your spark. Use feisty, flirty and playful ways to break open a heart imprisoned by fear and hurt. Open your heart and hold nothing back. Give your all to your partner.

The Discipline of Presence and Openness: Polarity is the ultimate power. Opposite energies – the masculine and the feminine – make us feel alive. Experience the strength, love and radiance that a relationship with true polarity brings about.

The Discipline of Extremes: The power of transitioning from dark to light. There will be challenging times. That is inevitable. But by being able to make your way out of those dark periods and find a happy, healthy resolve, you will strengthen your relationship and find an even greater level of intimacy.

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The 2 Disciplines of a Loving Spirit

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If you’re happy with yourself, you’re better equipped to be a good partner. Developing a loving spirit is key to finding internal fulfillment, which you can use to build extraordinary relationships. These two disciplines will help you cultivate a loving spirit that you can then share with your partner.

The Discipline of Finding the Gift in Everything: The power of higher meaning and constant growth. It is easy to get caught up in the minutiae, but sometimes it is necessary to look at the grand picture and work your way out of the details and into creating the ultimate love story that you so desire. Remember, how to be in a good relationship also has to do with your emotional control and the meaning you place on what occurs. Everything is a gift, you just may not see it at the time. But if you can work with your partner to see the beauty in even the darkest times, you can create a deeper bond that brings you even closer together.

The Discipline of Gratitude & Giving: Appreciation is the power to turn the most challenging situations into opportunities to grow closer and extend generosity to the one you love. It’s about working together to achieve something greater. This, the basis of how to be in a good relationship, requires a real commitment to showing up for your partner even when it is inconvenient and finding gratitude in the most difficult situations.

Want to spice up your love life?

Create aliveness, spark passion and deepen your connection with Tony’s free Relationship Guide.