Destiny, fate, karma, serendipity – whatever you call it, the idea that life is determined by powers beyond our control is as old as time. It appears in Greek mythology, ancient Chinese storytelling and in every culture around the world. But what if destiny wasn’t real? What if you could control your destiny?
Believing that you control your own destiny means you have recognized your internal locus of control. It means you take responsibility for your thoughts and actions and their outcomes. By thinking this way, you can become unstoppable. You can learn how to control your destiny.
Be one of the first to join The Edge—Tony Robbins’ free newsletter filled with uplifting strategies, personal insights, and powerful tools to help you create a life you love.
To control your destiny, you must first accept who you are and where you are, right now. If you fool yourself into thinking that you’re further along in your goals than you really are, you’ll leave yourself with nothing to accomplish. At the same time, don’t convince yourself that your life is worse than it really is. Take a step back and look at your circumstances from a new perspective. Develop your self-awareness and accept reality. You can’t make a plan to control your destiny if you don’t know your starting point.
Think of this as your launchpad. The truth, even if it stings, is the only place you can build real momentum. If you avoid it, you’re like a GPS with the wrong starting point—you’ll never get where you want to go. So, take a deep breath and celebrate your honesty. This is the moment you reclaim your power. Ask yourself: What’s one truth about your life you’ve been avoiding, and what’s the first step to face it head-on?
2. Question your beliefs
Accepting reality doesn’t mean you just sit back and forget about how to control your destiny. It means that you take ownership of what you can change and forget about things you can’t. You can’t control what others do or think. You can’t control the market. The only thing you can change is your own mindset. To do that, you must question the story you tell yourself – and transform it into one that empowers you. Limiting beliefs – the negative things we tell ourselves about the way we are and the way the world is – only hold you back from fully controlling your destiny.
The key to unstoppable drive is vision and certainty. This combination of purpose and confidence separates average entrepreneurs from extraordinary ones.
Where are you in life? Do you want to reach a new level of success, but you’re not sure how to proceed? Have you been wondering how to find a life coach? Maybe you know you need a major change, but feel paralyzed by indecision. No matter your goals, working 1-on-1 with a professional coach can help. With a coach by your side, you’ll stay focused and accountable to the goals you set. The best life coaches can teach you proven strategies and tools that turn your dreams into reality.
Change your story
Master Tony’s proven strategies to create endless momentum and change the trajectory of your life.
Your beliefs are the invisible scripts running your life. If you want a new destiny, you need to rewrite the script. Imagine your mind as a garden—are you planting seeds of possibility, or letting weeds of doubt take over? Pull one weed today. Write down a belief that’s held you back, and flip it into something empowering. Remember, the strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves—so define yourself as unstoppable.
Identify your limiting beliefs and annihilate them! Learn to change your state in an instant.
Your past is not your future – unless you live there. To control your own destiny, you must forgive those who have hurt you and let go of the past. Realize that, as Tony says, “Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give to it.” Will you give your past a meaning filled with hurt and pain, or will you realize that it’s what made you who you are today? Your past can be a source of inner strength and deep belief in yourself, if you choose to give it a positive meaning.
Picture your past as a heavy backpack. Every grudge, regret, or old story is a rock weighing you down. You can’t climb to new heights carrying all that. Today, choose to set the backpack down. Forgiveness isn’t about them—it’s about your freedom. What’s one thing from your past you’re willing to release, just for today, to see how light you can feel?
4. Explore your relationships
Nothing affects the quality of your life and your ability to control your destiny more deeply than your relationships. They are a window into your values and beliefs, including your beliefs about yourself. They are the source of life’s greatest pleasure and life’s greatest pain. And they can either propel you toward your goals or keep you stagnant.
Sometimes you must cut ties with unhealthy relationships that no longer serve you. This is one of the hardest parts of learning how to control your destiny, but you can’t fly when you’re weighed down.
Relationships are mirrors—they reflect your standards, your energy, your future. If you want to soar, you need to fly with eagles, not scratch with turkeys. Take inventory: Who energizes you? Who drains you? Reach out to someone who inspires you, or set a boundary with someone who doesn’t. Remember, proximity is power—so choose your inner circle with intention.
5. Reveal your driving force
Your relationships also provide clues about your driving force – the ultimate reason you do the things you do. We’re all driven by Six Human Needs: certainty, significance, variety, love/connection, growth and contribution. We need all of these things at a certain level, but we each have one top need that drives us more than others. By looking at your life in this context, you’ll be able to more successfully control your destiny, because you will recognize and fulfill your needs in a positive way.
When you know what truly drives you, you become unstoppable. The Six Human Needs aren’t just theory—they’re the fuel in your tank. Take a moment to reflect: Which need has shaped your biggest decisions? Now, ask yourself, how can you meet that need in a way that lifts you and others higher? This is how you turn unconscious patterns into conscious power.
Discover your top human need, the invisible force that shapes every thought, behavior and action.
Fear is a natural survival instinct, but like our relationships, it doesn’t always serve us. If you’re living in fear, you can never truly learn how to control your destiny. To become your best self and realize your unlimited potential for growth, you must learn how to use fear instead of letting fear use you. Be vulnerable with your partner. Take steps to start that business you dream of. Sign up for a public speaking class. Whatever you are afraid of, go do it – today.
Fear is a compass—it points to where your growth lives. If you want to expand your life, you have to step into uncertainty. Don’t wait for courage to show up; act first, and courage will follow. Pick one thing that scares you and take a tiny action toward it today. Remember, the only impossible journey is the one you never begin.
7. Design your life
You’ve created new, positive beliefs, let go of relationships and stories that don’t serve you and discovered how to fulfill your needs. You’re feeling confident and empowered. Now is the time to design your life. You can do, have and be anything you want, so think big. What is your true purpose in life? What energizes you? Envision an extraordinary life filled with passion. A life you can only achieve when you fully control your destiny.
Don’t settle for a life by default—create a masterpiece by design. Grab a journal and sketch out your ideal day, your ideal year, your ideal self. Make it vivid, make it real. The more detail you give your vision, the more your brain will work to make it happen. What’s one bold move you can make this week to step closer to that vision?
RPM isn’t time or task management—it’s life design. Gain the clarity, momentum, and tools to take control and design a life on your terms.
Tony tells us that “Whatever you consistently think about and focus upon you move toward.” Once you’ve designed your life, you must put all your energy toward achieving that life. Stop relying on others to make you feel a certain way or waiting around for them to get on the same page. Use empowering routines like priming, visualization, incantations and exercise to focus your intentions on how to control your destiny. Create goals using a system like Tony’s Rapid Planning Method and hold yourself accountable. You have all the tools you need – the rest is up to you.
Focus is your superpower. Whatever you focus on, you feel, and whatever you feel, you do. Start each morning by asking: What am I grateful for? What am I committed to creating today? Use rituals—like movement, music, or incantations—to prime your mind for success. Remember, where focus goes, energy flows. What will you choose to focus on right now?
Take the Reins of Your Destiny
Your destiny isn’t written in the stars—it’s written by the decisions you make every single day. The difference between a life of quiet desperation and a life of passion and fulfillment is the willingness to own your power, challenge your limits, and take bold action. Remember, you are not a passenger in your own life. You are the driver. The moment you accept that, everything changes. So raise your standards, commit to growth, and step forward with courage. The life you crave is waiting for you—go out and create it. Live with passion!
Create an extraordinary life by design, not default
