Learning how to be confident in yourself

Does it sometimes seem like everyone around you is confident and sure of themselves? Chances are, they have doubts just like you. So what’s the secret they’ve discovered about how to be confident? They know that confidence is not something you have, it’s something you create. Being confident is nothing more than a belief in yourself. It’s the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Confidence comes from within, and you can find ways of being more confident at any time.

That’s not to say learning how to be confident will solve all your problems. Everyone has bad days or moments that upset them. Being confident also doesn’t mean you’re completely sure of yourself at all times. Creating confidence is not about knowing it all; it’s about trusting that no matter what happens in a particular situation, you’ll be able to handle it and learn from the outcome.

Why is confidence important?

Learning how to be confident is important in every part of your life, but there are some instances where it’s crucial, especially at times where you feel like giving up. If you are a leader and in a position that requires being convincing and trustworthy, being confident is non-negotiable. No one will follow a leader who appears unsure of themselves. Lack of confidence can seriously impact your ability to put together a winning team and guide them to achieving your company goals.

Even if you’re not in a leadership role, confidence is vital to being a team player in many situations, whether you’re in a sales position or need to present a confident face during frequent interactions with clients. Being confident helps you make instant connections and build relationships that will help you and your company succeed.

Confidence is important beyond the workplace, too. Learning how to be more confident can help you attract a partner you can build a healthy relationship with. It can also help you effectively handle conflict and seek out new opportunities ­that will foster your personal growth.

If you want to learn how to be more confident, you must be willing to change your state. Your state is essentially your mood at any given time of day. Your mood is influenced by how you feel about yourself at that point in time. The good news is you can change your state at any time – no matter what’s going on around you – as long as you know how to do it. Here are three principles of confidence that anyone can use to their advantage – and some real-life examples to help you apply them in any area of your life.

The principles of how to be more confident

1. Body language

Think about someone you know whom you consider extremely confident. When you first met them, you probably knew they were confident before they even started speaking. You knew they were self-assured because of the way they carried themselves and moved. They made eye contact, shook your hand firmly and stood up straight.

Want to know how to be confident? Just act like it! Physiology is key when learning how to be confident and mastering the body language of confidence can put you on the path to success.

2. Positivity


Thinking positive can manifest itself in several ways. First, change your focus – because “Where focus goes, energy flows,” as Tony says. Instead of getting hung up on all the ways something could go wrong, focus on all the ways it could go right. Think about how you’re going to nail your presentation and how pleased your coworkers will be to hear it. What you focus on becomes your reality – and that includes what you focus on within your own mind. Replace negative words with positive ones and start seeing the bright side of situations. By changing your focus, internally and externally, you’re changing your state. And by changing your state, you’ll change your life.

3. A growth mindset

What do you think being confident entails? You may have some idea that confidence only stems from prior success – that you can only know how to be confident in yourself after you’ve become wildly successful. This sort of core belief severely limits you. Confidence doesn’t come from your outward achievements – it comes from within. Being confident means that if you do fail, you can pick yourself back up and try again instead of throwing in the towel. Once you start taking actionable steps toward your goal of being confident, your beliefs will gradually start to solidify. It’s time to adopt a growth mindset and start believing that you can learn how to be more confident.


How to be more confident at work

Learning how to be confident at work is essential for your success. Studies have even shown that those with higher self-confidence earn more than their peers with lower self-esteem. But how can you be more confident in the workplace?

1. Change your physiology


Stand up straight. Square your shoulders and open up your chest. Breathe deeply. Maintain brisk, purposeful strides when you walk to cover more ground. Maintaining a posture like this makes you feel stronger and where your body goes, your mind follows. You can also observe others’ physiology to learn more about them and gain an edge in negotiations. Certain signs, such as body angle and amount of physical space they take up, can clue you in on how a person perceives a situation – and how they can be persuaded.

2. Take pride in your achievements

Confident people could make more money in the workplace for a simple reason: they take credit for their achievements – and they do it when it matters most. If you made a contribution that accomplished a goal for the company or led to a positive outcome, it isn’t bragging to point it out to your manager or CEO – it’s a fact. As long as you state it in a matter-of-fact way, it won’t just make you look good – it will make you feel good, too.

3. Use goal visualization


Positive visualization is a powerful tool to wield on the road to understanding how to be confident in yourself. Think of yourself succeeding and do your best to minimize any thoughts of failure. Remember that you get what you focus on and visualizing your goal will lead to an immediate spike in confidence.


How to be more confident in your body

Some of the world’s most famous and beautiful celebrities have struggled with self-esteem. Jennifer Lopez, Selena Gomez and even Arnold Schwarzenegger have been open about their confidence issues – and how they overcame them. You can, too.

1. Appreciate yourself

Have you ever stopped and thought about all the things your body does for you? When you take a minute to appreciate all the things your body lets you do, it will start to feel more like a gift than a burden. Practicing gratitude is key to living a happy life.

how to be confident in yourself

2. Improve your self-talk

be confident by improving self talk

How do you talk to yourself in your own mind? The self-talk you use, otherwise known as your inner monologue, has an important effect on your confidence. Catch yourself when you are thinking negatively about your body and replace the thought with something you like about yourself.

3. Change your body language

The principles of body language work here, too. Do a quick inventory of your body. What’s your posture like? How are you breathing? We all get in negative states which can lead to slouching, shallow breathing or hanging your head. You have the power to change how you’re feeling by controlling the way your body moves and the way you present yourself. The fastest way to being more confident is to radically change your physiology.

change your body language to become confident

How to be confident in a relationship

1. Love yourself first

Many people never learn how to fall in love with themselves and develop a lack of confidence early in life and unconsciously adopt limiting beliefs about what they are capable of. This leads to self-sabotage and reinforcement of the belief that they’re undeserving of a loving relationship. The first step to a fulfilling relationship is discovering how to be more confident in yourself.

love yourself to become confident

2. Live in the present

live in the present to be confident

Being present is one of the biggest challenges of today’s fast-paced, plugged-in world. But when you live fully in the present, you appreciate what you have without worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow – or what happened yesterday. Free your mind, be here now and confidence will follow.

Additional confidence tips

The above shifts in your mindset and body will undoubtedly help you learn how to become more confident. As you master these concepts, you can also use the following confidence tips when you need a quick boost of self-esteem. 

1. Think of something that excites you 

If you’re nervous or feeling unsure about an upcoming situation, try picturing a recent accomplishment or an outcome of the situation that excites you. Those who want to learn how to be more confident often forget they’ve had plenty of times where they’ve exuded confidence in the past, and reliving these moments can give them the boost they need. 

2. Make eye contact 

Connecting with people and showing confidence through eye contact doesn’t just strengthen relationships – it’s one of the quickest ways to exude confidence when you meet new people. Use the 80/20 rule of meeting someone’s eyes 80% of the time and focusing on something else the other 20% so you don’t appear too intense or make the other person uncomfortable. 

3. Adopt a power pose 

One of the deepest ways to increase confidence is to connect to your inner power. All of us have strength within us, but when we’re feeling low it can be difficult to remember it’s there. Consider developing your own personal power pose and breathing deeply to reconnect to your strong core. Your pose can be a yoga pose – warrior is an especially empowering one – standing with your hands on your hips and your feet shoulder width apart or simply standing with your head held high and your back straight. The important thing is that your pose achieves the goals of awakening your inner strength and carrying that strength and confidence into every interaction.

Rid yourself of self doubt and achieve your goals faster

Discovering how to be confident in yourself isn’t an overnight process – it takes time. By shifting how you present yourself physically and what you focus on mentally, you can create confidence that will help propel you toward your goals.


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