Ready to take the initiative & join our newsletter?

How to look confident

8 Tips to look confident in any situation

The moment you step into a room, people immediately form some sort of impression of you. They make snap judgments about what type of person you are – trustworthy, sincere, capable. Much of this is based on how you carry yourself.

If you know how to look confident, people will be more inclined to give you the attention and respect that you deserve. If you appear uncomfortable and insecure, on the other hand, people may be quick to dismiss or discredit you. Body language is an integral part of communication and the way you carry yourself may be communicating more than you know to the outside world. Read this article to learn how to never settle for less and become the best version of yourself.

Can you learn how to look confident?

Did you know that non-verbal cues represent 55% of our communication? Vocal inflection is just 38%, while our words constitute only 7% of our communication. No wonder we say that actions speak louder than words. Subtle physical cues – from how you have your hands placed to how you set your shoulders – set a tone.

So how do you set a positive tone that reinforces your intelligence and capability? By learning how to appear confident. Unfortunately, many struggle with self-doubt. Many also believe that if you aren’t born with confidence then you are out of luck. That’s far from the truth. Self-confidence is a skill, and you can learn how to exude by making small changes to your physical movements and believing in yourself.

We spoke about this with renowned body language expert Jan Hargrave, whose book Strictly Business Body Language delves into the power of nonverbal communication and how anyone can use it to their advantage.

Eight tips for a more confident look 

1. Align your shoulders

Slouching displays a lack of confidence and sincerity. To seem more confident, stand up straight, push your shoulders back slightly and open up your chest. Be sure to keep your shoulders even, as unevenness conveys indecisiveness. Also, be sure to square your shoulders toward your speaking partner. We point our bodies where our mind wants to go. So if you are speaking to another but your body is facing the door, it comes off that you would like to exit the conversation. The person you are speaking to may think you are discourteous or uncomfortable. Squaring your shoulders toward your partner conveys a sense of interest and confidence and helps you make instant connections.

2. Curb the fidgeting

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is mindlessly fidgeting. Those who have mastered how to seem confident know this is a dead giveaway that you feel uncomfortable. Have you ever watched a professional newscaster? They never touch their face, adjust their ties, pull at their clothing or play with their jewelry. They are trained to get you to believe what they are saying; if they seemed nervous or insecure while delivering their message, you would not trust nor believe them. If you find yourself fidgeting, relax. Stay present and fold your hands in your lap or on top of the table in front of you.

3. Steeple your hands

Want to learn how to show confidence? A single hand gesture could be the answer. Many people are used to what is called the “fig leaf” gesture, in which one hand cups the other and rests over the groin area. But this hand gesture conveys insecurity and weakness. The hand steeple, in which the fingers come together to form a point, is a fine alternative. When someone steeples in the chest area, it signals that they are confident about what they are saying. When someone steeples in the lap area, it means they are confident about what they are hearing.

4. Make eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of nonverbal communication. Follow the 80/20 rule: for 80% of the time your eyes are meeting your speaking partner’s; for 20% of the time, your eyes are roaming as you determine what to say in return. Good eye contact allows your speaking partner to feel that you are interested in what they are saying. They will also appreciate and respect you more for meeting their eyes and ultimately view you as a caring, confident individual.

5. Have a firm handshake

Those who know how to look confident understand that a good handshake can set the tone for your interaction with another individual. The best handshake starts with you holding your hand in a vertical position with your fingers together and your thumb extended upright. Then, when shaking your partner’s hand, make a close, assertive connection in which the web of your hand meets their web. Approach their hand as evenly as possible, as the way a person extends their hand says a lot about their intention. When someone’s hand is facing down, it means they want to control you. If their hand is facing up, it conveys that they are submissive.

If you want to go the extra mile to convey confidence, try “anchoring” the handshake. This means using your other hand to touch the person softly on their forearm between their wrist and their elbow. Done correctly, this move conveys that you are fully committed to speaking with the person. Just be sure to not go any higher than the elbow, as this could make the person feel like you are invading their personal space.

6. Walk with ease

Want to know how to appear confident when entering a room? Change how you walk. The way you walk can show if you are nervous, happy or upset, as well as indicate if you are relaxed or in a rush. Whether you are walking into a networking group where you want to impress others in attendance or you’re entering a board room to gain the upper hand in a negotiation, the right type of walk will make you appear all the more confident.

Those who walk fast and keep their arms tight against their bodies appear nervous and unsure of themselves. Walk slowly with your arms held loose by your sides. Pair this walk with an open expression and be ready to shake hands when you encounter others.

7. Think confidently

When you change how you think about yourself, you change your life. This includes the words you say out loud and the words you say in your head. It’s much easier to learn how to show confidence when you feel confident about yourself and your abilities. 

Much of this has to do with addressing limiting beliefs about who you are and how others see you. If you’ve been told in the past that you are not good enough or that no one will respect you, you probably believe, deep down, that it’s actually true. When you adopt empowering beliefs about yourself, you increase your self-esteem and this will show in your outward appearance.

8. Choose a confident role model

Some people make looking confident seem easy. You can up your own confidence game by choosing one of these individuals to model yourself after. This person can be a celebrity you follow on social media or a person in your community who impresses you. The ideal role model will be knowledgeable and well-rounded; they will show concern and respect for others in addition to appearing confident in multiple types of situations.

Your role model can be someone you observe from a distance, or you can reach out to them and try to develop a mentoring relationship

Learn how to appear confident, as well as other secrets toward success, with Tony Robbins’ 30-Day Personal Power program.

Header image © Shutterstock

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

related posts
Mind & Meaning

FEAR VS. INTUITION

Read More
Mind & Meaning

Ready to unlock an extraordinary life?

Read More
Mind & Meaning

The F word you need to embrace

Read More

Get Tony Robbins' articles, podcasts and videos in your inbox, biweekly.