Peer elevation

Ever hear the saying, “You are who your friends are”? You might have heard it from your parents in grade school, when groups started to form around different personalities and interests. Cliques start to form, often centered around similar expectations and behaviors — watching the same television shows and movies, forming similar habits, and even speaking and dressing like each other.

This all seems fairly innocuous at first, but ultimately, you become who you hang around with, or “the company you keep.” We’ve all heard the story about the “good kid” who began hanging out with the wrong crowd, going down the wrong path, becoming a product of their environment, so to speak. They lowered their expectations to meet the level of the people around them.

And now, as adults, the same principle applies. The difference is we are no longer unaware of the influence our peers have on us; we know better than to fall in with the wrong crowd. We are responsible for being vigilant about our surroundings and choosing a group of people that will elevate us, not bring us down.

As Tony says,

“The quality of a person’s life is most often a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group.” 

Here are some things to consider as you choose the company you keep:

Image © Monkey Business Images/shutterstock

1. Do you look up to the people you surround yourself with?

This doesn’t mean that they have to be a 28-year-old multi-millionaire, when you’re just trying to focus on getting a better job. Looking up to those around you can be as easy as admiring the way they speak, carry themselves, their accomplishments, the way they solve problems or their general approach to daily life.

2. Do they embody qualities you want to acquire?

Sometimes we meet people that blow us away. Do you know someone with so much charisma and positivity that you are intrigued by their very nature, and maybe even crave their company? Or perhaps someone with a collection of positive habits and demonstrated discipline that you think, I wish I had that? Whatever qualities you want to acquire, surround yourself with people who have them.

3. Look at the group of people you spend the most time with

If you take a good hard look at the people you hang around with most, then do some self-reflecting on who you are, you will find you are the average sum of them all — almost as if you carry a little piece of each of them with you. Do you want all of those pieces? If not, it could be time to re-evaluate your decisions.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn

Header image © Jacob Lund/shutterstock

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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