How to never settle for less
Look around you – are you living the life you’ve always wanted? Are you actively working toward that life? If not, you’re settling. It may sound harsh, but that’s the honest truth. And to live a passionate, purposeful, fulfilling life, you must learn how to never settle for less. Don’t settle for less in a relationship. Don’t settle for less in your career. Never settle for less in your friendships, your parenting and your personal growth.
Too many people settle for a job they don’t love, don’t work toward becoming free of financial fear or give up on goals they set for themselves, like exercising more or mastering a new skill. They fear rejection, being alone or being vulnerable, and settle for relationships with no spark, no true connection.
If you are not living up to your greatest potential in any area of your life, you are settling. It can be hard to admit, but when you do, you will finally discover how to never settle for less.
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Why you must never settle for less
Nelson Mandela said it best: “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” You cannot live a small life and a full life. When you settle for less:
You’ll never feel fulfilled
When you play it safe, you meet your need for certainty – but you won’t create the connections your heart and soul need. You won’t find significance. You won’t fulfill your need for personal growth. Ultimately, you won’t feel fulfilled in life.
You won’t experience life
Fear of failure keeps us from going after our dream jobs. It makes us avoid heartbreak by staying in unhealthy relationships. It prevents us from getting out of our comfort zones. It keeps us from experiencing all that life has to offer – every emotion – including disappointment and joyful moments.
You’ll have regrets
When you look back on your life, you won’t be glad you settled for less. Right now, you’d probably tell your younger self, “Don’t settle for less in a relationship. Go after that job you want. Dream big.” Don’t wait until you’re old and gray to never settle for less – start now.
But where does the drive to never settle come from? And can you learn how to never settle for less?
How to never settle for less
Think about who you look up to – in business, in relationships and as people. Chances are, they have something that you want but don’t yet have. They are your inspiration. You can use them to create a vision for your own life. Once you have your vision, put these five strategies into practice and never settle for less than you deserve again.
1. Own your life
Stop blaming your life on your current partner, your boss or your family. Your life is what you make it. Do you really want to spend it making excuses? Don’t take the easy way out and escape to the past or the future. Tony Robbins explains, “If your present is painful, you can escape to the past and get out of the pressure of change. Or you can escape to the future, because no one knows what it is for sure.”
These are the destructive belief systems that keep you complacent in that bad job or bad relationship.
Tony also says, “Where focus goes, energy flows,” so start focusing on creating positive change in your life. Catch yourself complaining about your job and put that energy toward finding a job you love. Don’t sweep negative emotions about your partner under the rug – focus on working on your relationship, or let it go. Take massive action. It’s the only way to be sure you never settle for less, and instead live the exceptional life you were meant to live.
2. Unleash your drive
Tony tells us, “There is a powerful driving force inside every human being that, once unleashed, can make any vision, dream or desire a reality.” Every successful person has this drive to do more, be more, give more and create more. It’s not just a hunger for material things or appearances – it’s a hunger to serve something greater than yourself.
To never settle for less, you must unleash that drive – but how? The key is to relate your goals to your purpose in life. Know who you are emotionally, psychologically and spiritually, and know that you are capable of so much more than what you are achieving. Connect with a purpose greater than yourself: your family, your community and even humanity. We’ll all do more for others we love than we’ll ever do for ourselves – that’s the beauty of being human. And that’s what will unlock your drive to never settle for less than you deserve.
Watch the video below to learn more from Tony on unleashing your inner hunger:
3. Nourish your body – and your mind
The next step is to identify your limiting beliefs. These are your beliefs about who you are and why you have the life you do. How often do you tell yourself things like “I’ve always been shy,” or “I’m just not great at public speaking?” The worst limiting beliefs are so internalized, we often can’t put them into words. Not feeling worthy of a loving relationship is a very common limiting belief. Sometimes, people are even afraid of success because they don’t want to stand out and give up peer acceptance.
You can turn your limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs. It’s not always easy. It takes self-reflection and thought. But you must acknowledge negative beliefs about your future, your relationship and your health in order to overcome them. When you really analyze limiting beliefs, you’ll be able to start breaking through them.
Controlling your thoughts and words is vital to overcoming limiting beliefs. Catch yourself when you tell the stories that limit you. Eliminate “I can’t” from your vocabulary. When you transform your words, you transform your emotions – and your ability to never settle for less.
4. Raise your standards
“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten,” says Tony. If you tolerate less than you deserve, that is what you will get. Don’t settle for less in a relationship or any other part of your life. You must raise your standards. Turn your “shoulds” into “musts,” and those musts will manifest themselves in your life.
As Kevin Hart told Tony in a powerful podcast, he never settles for less in his career because he knows he can be just as successful as anyone else. “If I’m looking at 44 people who are doing amazing things, why aren’t I number 45?” He has absolute certainty and belief in himself.
When you fully commit to something, you have no other options. You must achieve it. Tony says, “It’s having that absolute certainty that makes you tap your full potential, take massive action, get massive results and be reinforced to an even stronger belief.” Once you raise your standards and commit to them, you’ll find the puzzle pieces fall into place.
5. Create habits that make you great
Successful people share certain habits that set them apart. They wake up early to get things done before the rest of us. They read, always looking for new information. They take personal time to meditate, do yoga or just breathe. They have positive attitudes and surround themselves with the right people who reinforce their belief to never settle for less.
You can set yourself up for success by doing many of these same things. Create morning rituals to set the tone for your day. Taking just a few minutes to practice priming, recite positive incantations or even quickly meditate can make a huge difference in your state.
Successful people visualize their success. It doesn’t just work in business. You can visualize what your ideal relationship looks like. Think about what you need to feel completely fulfilled and loved. Visualization can help you to never settle for less than you deserve in your relationship.
These five strategies are the key to living your life to the fullest and achieving your goals. Dream big, take action and always believe in yourself. And never settle for less than the exceptional life you’re capable of.
Ready to stop settling in your career, relationships and more?
Evaluate your life and discover where you need to make improvements in order to stop settling once and for all.