Making excuses is a natural human response – we are social animals, and we care what others think about us and want to fit in. Rather than face uncomfortable conversations and feelings, we make excuses and avoid responsibility.
People who make excuses may feel happy in the moment, because they’ve avoided a bit of pain. In the long-term however they will be less fulfilled and can feel anxious or depressed.
So why do people make excuses? And how can you stop making excuses and start going after your dreams instead?
Identify your limiting beliefs and annihilate them! Learn to change your state in an instant.
Making excuses can almost always be traced back to one of three reasons: fear, uncertainty or lack of purpose. To stop making excuses, first determine which one applies to you.
Fear
Making excuses can almost always be traced back to one emotion: fear. Fear can come in many forms. Perhaps you make excuses about going after your dreams because you’re afraid of failure. You may make excuses about your weight or your health because of self-doubt and lack of confidence. It isn’t easy to stop making excuses and face your fears – but it can be done.
Uncertainty
As human beings we all have Six Human Needs that drive our decisions. One of our most powerful needs is certainty: we are driven to avoid pain and seek out things that we know will bring us pleasure. That’s why it’s so tempting to stay in your comfort zone or pick up bad habits. When we face a situation that we’re not certain about, our brains prefer making excuses over dealing with uncertainty. But you can override these natural impulses and stop making excuses.
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Lack of purpose
People who make excuses also often come across as lazy, uninspired and apathetic. Yet it’s more likely they haven’t yet discovered their purpose. As Tony says, “People are not lazy. They simply have goals that do not inspire them.” Focus on finding your passion and living a life of meaning, and you’ll naturally stop making excuses.
Making excuses is normal from time to time – we’re all human after all. But if it’s starting to interfere with your life and prevent you from reaching your goals, it’s time to learn how to stop making excuses.
1. Take responsibility
The first step to stop making excuses is always to realize that you alone control your destiny. As Tony puts it, “The past does not equal the future unless you live there.” No matter what has happened to you in the past, your future is up to you.
2. Shift your perspective
When you take responsibility, you begin to see that problems are opportunities, not obstacles. Life is happening for you, not to you. Everything that has happened in your life brought you to this moment – and you can either transform your life or keep making excuses.
3. Uncover your limiting beliefs
People who make excuses likely have certain limiting beliefs that are holding them back. These are the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. If you believe deep down that you’re not deserving of success or that you don’t have the inner strength to overcome failure, you’ll continue making excuses to avoid going after what you really want.
4. Change your story
Once you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, you can change your story and stop making excuses for good. Do this by identifying negative self-talk and replacing any limiting beliefs with empowering ones. When you change your words – and your story – you change your life.
5. Find the lesson
People who make excuses don’t bother to look closely at their mistakes and determine what went wrong. They blame others and never learn the valuable lessons that failure can provide. Successful people always look for the lesson and apply it to future decisions.
6. Stop overthinking
Tony tells us that “The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” The ability to make tough decisions is a top trait of great leaders and an essential skill for everyday life, but many people who make excuses suffer from “analysis paralysis.” To stop making excuses, you must stop overthinking, let go of the past and take massive action.
7. Define your vision
Do you jump out of bed each day with excitement and vitality? If you’re wondering how to stop making excuses, the answer is likely “no.” So how can you start? Go back to the drawing board and examine your blueprint for your life. What do you really want? Create a powerful vision that you’ll be proud to follow, and you’ll never make an excuse again.
8. Set goals
Discovering your purpose is valuable, but setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. Working toward actionable goals forces you to stop making excuses and start creating a compelling future. Start small and set achievable SMART goals. As you build confidence, set bigger and bigger goals.
9. Get support
The key to stop making excuses is to hold yourself accountable for your actions – but this isn’t always easy. Get support from a trusted friend or your significant other. Better yet, find a mentor, join a mastermind group or connect with a coach. They’ll have the experience and training needed to keep you accountable and productive.
From Excuses to Empowerment: Tony Robbins Turning Point
There was a time in my early twenties when I was living in a small, cramped apartment in Los Angeles. I had no money—so little, in fact, that I washed my dishes in the bathtub because I didn’t have a proper kitchen. I remember looking around and thinking of all the reasons why my life was the way it was: I didn’t have the right background, I didn’t know the right people, I didn’t have the resources. It would have been easy to let those excuses define me.
But one day, I caught myself. I realized that as long as I kept focusing on what I didn’t have, I’d never create what I wanted. I made a decision in that moment: I was going to stop telling myself the story of why I couldn’t, and start asking how I could. I started reading everything I could get my hands on, modeling people who had achieved what I wanted, and taking massive action—even when it was uncomfortable.
That shift—from making excuses to taking ownership—was the turning point. It didn’t happen overnight, but it changed the trajectory of my life. I learned that your story can either imprison you or empower you. The choice is always yours.
“Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant.” —Tony Robbins
Don't make another important decision before you listen to this free audio from Tony Robbins
Step Into Your Power: Stop Making Excuses and Start Living Your Vision
Here’s the truth: making excuses might feel safe in the moment, but it keeps you from the life you’re truly capable of living. The power to change is always in your hands. When you take responsibility, challenge your limiting beliefs, and surround yourself with the right support, you unlock a new level of possibility. Remember, your past does not define your future—your decisions do. So raise your standards, take massive action, and step into the vision you have for your life.
The only thing standing between you and your dreams is the story you keep telling yourself. Change your story, and you’ll change your life. Live with passion!
"Remember: we all get what we tolerate. So stop tolerating excuses within yourself, limiting beliefs of the past, or half-assed or fearful states. Use your body as a tool to snap yourself into a place of sheer will, determination, and commitment. Face your challenges head on with the core belief that problems are just speed bumps on the road to your dreams. And from that place, when you take massive action—with an effective and proven strategy—you will rewrite your history." —Tony Robbins
