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How to fix a sexless marriage

“Relationships don’t die because of a lack of love, they die because of a lack of passion.” – Tony Robbins

When you met your partner, you felt a tremendous sense of passion toward them. This manifested itself both on an emotional and physical level. You couldn’t stop learning about one another and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. The two of you got married and felt like you were on top of the world – but lately, things are different.

You can’t pinpoint when things began to change, but over time, you stopped being so physical with one another. Maybe it’s because the newness of the relationship has worn off, or perhaps there are more stressful things in your shared life now like kids, new job responsibilities or financial struggles that have caused things to fizzle. The relationship is still in tact but you’ve lost that necessary intimacy you need to keep your love alive.

As much as you hate to admit it, your relationship has lost its passion, and as a result, you no longer know what to do in a sexless marriage.

Everyone responds to losing the physical aspect of their marriage in a different way. Some people convince themselves it’s normal, that they shouldn’t care and should keep a brave face, while others let it destroy their union over time. No matter how you feel about it right now, it’s not too late to work through it with your partner. Commit to reigniting that lost sense of passion by learning to communicate openly with your partner, work to regain that physical intimacy and ultimately fix sexless marriage issues.

Understand the power of polarity

couple holding hands

In order to thrive, the two people in a relationship need to represent masculine and feminine energies. These contrasting energies are similar to the negative and positive charges on a magnet — when together, this creates polarity in a relationship. The driving force behind masculine energy is working toward an end goal, while feminine energy tends to focus more on emotion and connection. Regardless of gender, there must be a masculine energy in one partner and feminine energy in the other for a relationship to succeed. To understand what’s going on in your marriage, and why you’ve lost physical connection, you need to understand polarity and how it affects your partnership.

Over time, polarity can change. Perhaps the partner with feminine energy has had to take on a more masculine role, causing the relationship’s dynamic to shift. This can result in a loss of passion and intimacy, as the marriage no longer has the feminine intuition and focus on connection that it needs to be well rounded.

Examine the roles you and your partner have taken on in your marriage. Have they changed over time? Has the masculine energy source had to step down from their normal role? Assess what type of energy you and your partner have and work to readjust your polarity. Perhaps the masculine partner needs to feel that they are providing for your family more, or the feminine partner wants to feel able to care for the masculine partner.

two wedding bands

Act like you did when you were dating

couple on a date at the beach

When you get too comfortable in a relationship, you get lazy. You stop doing the little things for your partner that makes them feel special and wanted, which leads to less passion over time.

Think of all the little things you used to do for your partner before you were married. You used to be so excited just to spend time together, and now you can hardly remember the last time you planned a special date night for your partner.Why did you stop?

If you want your relationship to be sexual, incredible and full of intimacy, you have to fight for it.

Prove to your partner that you’re their biggest fan who would do anything for them. Surprise them when they least expect it – it can even be with something simple like their favorite latte or picking up dinner on your way home.

No couple has a perfect relationship, but you can experience something extraordinary with your ideal partner. Mind-blowing, passionate relationships take work, but if you’re willing to put in the time and commitment it takes to create an incredible marriage, all areas of your life will be better because of it.

couple kissing by the beach

Communicate with your partner

couple talking over coffee

When you’re looking for sexless marriage help, the first person you should turn to is your partner. They might not know how to fix a sexless marriage immediately, but it says a lot about your relationship if you’re willing to work through the issue together. Have you brought this issue up with them? Are they also unhappy with how infrequently you’re being intimate?

Chances are, your verbal and emotional communication is lacking, which has led to a decrease in physical intimacy. Think about why the two of you stopped being passionate with one another. Has something happened to stop the two of you from talking like you used to? Is it something serious like infidelity, or something more minor like increased responsibilities at work that have led to less time together? Find a way to positively address the issue and create a plan to move forward together.

When you’re able to communicate on a mental and emotional level with your spouse, you’ll create a deeper physical connection, too.

couple on a date in a restaurant

Keep reassessing the relationship’s needs

Now that you’re on track to fix your sexless marriage, there’s one vital thing to keep in mind: Your relationship changes over time. There will be times when you’re physically closer with your partner than others, but the secret is to continue reassessing your physical and emotional needs with your spouse.

It’s important to stop living out old stories – let go of past mistakes! Don’t keep punishing your partner for something they said and did that you’ve already discussed, and don’t hold on to limiting beliefs about yourself, either.

a couple embracing in bed

You aren’t the same people you were when you met, because you’ve both grown and changed. This isn’t a bad thing though. Embrace changes and continue innovating in your relationship. What your love life needs to thrive now won’t be the same thing you needed when you met. As long as you’re willing to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, you should be able to revive and sustain the sexual intimacy in your marriage.

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