Learn how to fall in love with yourself
One of Tony Robbins’ core messages is, “The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life” – and that includes your relationship with yourself. Learning how to fall in love with yourself is essential to your own happiness, to your success in relationships and to the way you interact with the world. That’s because what you put out into the world, you get back ten-fold. Learn how to stop being jealous and fall in love with yourself now.
When you love yourself, you receive more love in return. When you exude confidence and joy, you’ll attract others with the same zest for living. This improves the quality of your relationships, which improves your life. The cycle is clear – and it all starts with falling in love with yourself.
But where does self-love come from? And how can you build it? How do you fall in love with yourself?
Want to learn how to love yourself?Achieve inner peace and confidence
Change your self-talk
Be kind to yourself. It seems simple, but it can be one of the hardest acts of self-love to master. We grow up in a society that is always telling us how to look, how to live and even how to feel. Social media gives us unrealistic standards to live up to, and then we feel bad about ourselves when we don’t reach them. If you’re wondering how to fall in love with yourself, the first step is to give yourself permission to be human. You don’t have to be a super-mom, a fitness model or a billionaire to be worthy of love.
“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy,” says Tony. The way you talk to yourself affects your mood and your behavior – and negative inner thoughts become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s OK to hold yourself to high standards and to feel negative emotions occasionally, but don’t get stuck in a cycle of negativity. Catch yourself when you fall into negative self-talk and make a conscious effort to change your words into something positive. If you had a bad date, you might think, “I’ll never find love.” Neutralize that thought by thinking about all the love you already have from friends and family – and all the fun dates you’ve been on.
Incantations are a proven way to change your self-talk. They’re more than just repeating a phrase. They’re a vivid visualization of something you want, repeated with enthusiasm and belief. The phrase “I am worthy of love” said with a smile and a confident posture can go a long way to manifesting love in your life. What you tell yourself is what you believe about yourself – so start telling yourself positive things.
Fall in love with taking care of yourself
Just as self-talk affects how you feel, self-care also sends signals to your brain that affect your state. When you love yourself, you treat yourself kindly, both emotionally and physically. You wouldn’t want a person you love to live in a stressed state of mind or to avoid doing things they love – so why allow yourself to do those things? Taking the time to relax, recharge and reconnect with your core being can help you discover your true self and re-discover how to fall in love with yourself.
If your brain is always on, you’re living in a heightened, unsustainable state. The research on relaxation is clear: Giving your brain a break actually results in increased creativity and productivity, higher motivation and a sharper memory. Self-reflection can affirm our sense of ourselves and help us learn from our mistakes. Richard Branson has his best ideas when he disconnects from his smartphone for days at a time. Author and businessman Tony Schwartz credits disconnecting with rediscovering a deeper part of himself.
It’s not all about relaxing. Establishing habits of self-care, like eating healthy and exercising, can train your brain to think positively. Take the time to also create joyful habits – do things that you love, that you are good at and that make you a more well-rounded person. Write in a journal, read a good book, learn to play an instrument or spend more time with family. When you fall in love with taking care of yourself, you’ll create a life you love and surround yourself with people who love you – and that makes loving yourself easy.
Find your purpose
Finding your purpose is the ultimate way to learn how to love yourself. Purpose gives us a reason to get up in the morning and makes us a part of something larger than ourselves. It fulfills several of our 6 Human Needs, including significance, growth and contribution. But purpose rarely reaches out and knocks on our door. To find your purpose, you need to be honest with yourself. What are you most excited about in your life? What are you most grateful for? What are you good at? What brings you joy?
The secret to living is giving, and giving is also the secret to falling in love with yourself: When you have a sense of purpose, you’ll live confidently and stop looking for external affirmation. You know that you have intrinsic worth, because you have gifts to give the world. And when you truly believe that you are here for a reason, loving yourself comes naturally. Find your purpose and light a fire of self-love within you, and others will be attracted to the flames.
Want to find a way to fall in love with yourself?
Fall in love with yourself by utilizing strategies from Tony Robbins’ Ultimate Relationships Guide.