Why can’t I achieve everything I set my mind to?
Achievers know that the secret of achieving goals is what you do if something doesn’t work: you try something else. And if that doesn’t work, well, you try yet another thing. And on it goes. You keep pushing until eventually you break through. Bingo: achievement unlocked!
But what about those areas of life where you’ve pushed and pushed, tried and tried, but it stays a problem? How to achieve goals there? Here we’ll cover the three principles of instant transformation, a strategy for tackling those persistent problems in your life. Understand how these three pillars function and you’re on the path to moving past your current suffering and achieving your goals.
1. What you resist, persists.
This might sound counterintuitive, but psychologists from Carl Jung onwards have shown it to be true. When you resist something, it suddenly becomes more attractive. Suddenly your whole nervous system wants it ten times more, because anything forbidden and taboo is definitely more exciting.
There’s a simple example of this phenomenon in action: You ask someone else to not think about elephants. Then you ask them what they’re thinking about. That’s right, elephants!
Continue to resist something long enough and eventually you’ll want it so bad that it becomes an obsession.
2. Fighting with reality guarantees pain
In most areas of life, if you push long enough, change your approach enough times, or try the right combination of strategies, you’ll achieve the result you want. That’s how to achieve goals 101. But if you continue to push and there’s no change happening, it’s time to take a step back for some honest assessment. Shift your focus from achieving goals to what’s really happening. If you try to fight with reality by making it something different, all you’ll get is pain. And that is not the result you are after.
What’s even harder with past situations you’re trying to resist is that you end up fighting with not only the present, but the past as well. Talk about a fight you can’t win!
Maybe you’ve seen this phenomenon in the parenting world. Many parents get hung up on their children achieving particular goals and having a particular future, perhaps as a doctor or lawyer. Or maybe their expectations are mired more in their perception of what the child’s interests and talents are – take art, or literature, for instance – so their projections are closer to reality, like an architect or professor. But they are still only perceptions. The only way of knowing what that child’s future mission or career will be is what unfolds in reality, the true circumstances and conditions. And if the parents fight that reality, it will only cause them (and their kids) pain and frustration.
3. Problems need energy to live
The last principle comes naturally from the first two. If you’re pushing hard against something, it pushes back. You get upset and then try to push harder, but nothing’s moving. But here’s the thing: if you just let it be, it’ll fix itself.
That’s right — if you allow anything to be exactly as it is without trying to fix it, it will eventually complete itself. How’s that for achieving goals? Instead of focusing your energy on this problem that’s causing you stress and unhappiness, you could be using it to power aspects of your life you actually enjoy.
Sometimes the best way to solve something is to just let it go. If you let it go, you’ll also let go of your suffering.
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