What are your subconscious patterns? Image of people hugging
September 11, 2018

What are your subconscious patterns?

Ask this one question and you’ll know why you do the things you do

There is one universal experience that creates the foundation for our individual models of the world. It influences the way we think, the way we act and the way we process information. It is what builds our subconscious patterns.

In this episode we meet Akila. Akila has been struggling with her view of the world and the way she reacts to outside pressures. She doesn’t know how to achieve the happy and extraordinary life she is dreaming of. Here, Tony coaches her in real time during a Date With Destiny event toward a life-changing breakthrough.

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Tony starts by asking her the most important question: whose love did you crave as a child? And what did you have to do, and who did you have to be, to feel deserving of that love?

This is the craving that shapes who we are – it’s foundational. And when we answer these questions, we begin to uncover our subconscious patterns.

Akila craved her mother’s love the most, and believed she had to appear perfect to deserve that love. This laid the groundwork for Akila to strive for perfection in every other aspect of her life, not just in her drive for her mother’s love.

The problem is that perfection is the lowest standard a person can have. It is a false standard – one that doesn’t exist. Since Akila has been striving for perfection, she’s been striving for an unrealistic ideal that she can never reach – and ends up incredibly unfulfilled.

As demonstrated by Akila’s story, her inability to live a fulfilled life is tied directly to her craving for her mother’s love as a child. Her craving laid the groundwork for her limiting subconscious patterns.

When you answer those questions yourself, you will gain a deeper understanding of how your identity and your subconscious patterns were shaped.

When you understand the force behind your subconscious patterns, you gain perspective on what your needs are and what’s most important for you to feel fulfilled. This clarity will enable you to live the happy and successful life you’ve always wanted.

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This episode of the Tony Robbins podcast is part of a breakthrough series that offers an inside view of events like Date with Destiny, Unleash the Power Within and Business Mastery. Throughout this series, listeners will get to listen as Tony coaches event attendees to life-changing transformations.


[01:05] Episode introduction
[03:05] Akila struggles to accept herself
[03:55] What’s preventing her from moving forward
[04:10] Whose love did you crave most?
[04:45] Who did Akila have to be for her mom?
[04:57] Perfection is the lowest standard you can have
[05:15] The 6 human needs
[05:35] The need for certainty
[07:00] What’s your order and your map?
[08:00] Many of us have rules that are inhuman
[08:15] The need for variety
[09:25] Your top two needs are your driving force
[09:40] Direction determines destiny
[10:00] Are your rules impossible to meet?
[10:30] You can get certainty in negative ways
[11:00] People will violate their own values to meet their needs
[11:55] Your model of the world stems from your childhood
[12:30] We all adapt
[13:20] The biggest drug in the world is problems
[13:35] Two primary fears
[14:00] Love is the oxygen of the soul
[15:45] How did you have to be to get love, significance
[16:15] The need for significance
[17:45} The need for love and connection
[18:45] Succeeding can put someone at risk
[19:00] Safest way to get connection for many is through problems
[20:30] Obtainable but not sustainable
[21:00] Growth and contribution
[21:15] What makes people happy?
[22:00] Sharing magnifies joy
[22:30] What are your top 2 needs?

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