Trading expectations for appreciation

How to overcome stress with gratitude and love

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When you think about the holidays and the emotions you feel, is stress near the top of your list? Is your mind full with expectations to meet and logistics to iron out, like who is hosting, which gifts to buy and what food to serve? Do you worry about budgets, politics or family dynamics?   

All of this stress gets in the way of our true enjoyment of the real meaning of the season. We have rules and beliefs about how things are supposed to be or how people are supposed to be. And when they do not meet our expectations, we suffer.  

Listen as Tony and Sage suggest a new approach: Trade your expectations for appreciation, to lead with gratitude and thanksgiving instead of worry, fear or anger.  

Most people never decide in advance of an experience the qualities that they are committed to experiencing. They let their past experiences color the present without even being conscious of it. This year, redirect your focus by asking a question like, “What conditions must I create within myself to experience the level of enjoyment I desire this year?” or “What could I focus on and appreciate about this?” Decide that despite the unique circumstances that 2020 brings, this holiday season will be an enjoyable experience for you. 

Where focus goes, energy flows. If you decide to focus on the negative, that is what you’ll experience. If you focus on the positive, you’ll bring more positivity into your life. It’s the law of attraction at work, and it applies to your career, personal life and your interactions with your family. 

Remember: The only person in the world you can control is yourself. You don’t control the way that others act or whether they meet your expectations. You don’t control outside events, like traffic or holiday shopping lines. But you do control the way that you react to others and to outside events. You can choose to trade expectation for appreciation. 

What if you didn’t think about family members showing up late, but were grateful to have people who care about you and who show up at all? What if instead of complaining about waiting in line, you focused on how grateful you are to be able to afford to buy things for the holidays? A small shift in your mindset can change your entire world.

Life is a gift. It is a miracle. And the holidays are a chance to rewire yourself. They’re a chance to put yourself in this state of joy and gratitude. A chance to awaken from your day to day stress and say, “How do I want it to be? What am I going to decide to do?” If you don’t decide, you’re letting stress control you. 

life is a gift

Listen to their second fireside chat now to learn: 

  • How to make one small, easy shift in your inner world that will allow you to enjoy yourself much more 
  • How to open your heart and anchor your state of being in love and kindness this holiday season so that you can be a blessing to those you love most   
  • How to “score” your life decide what you want and make it real
  • How to create an ambiance of awe and gratitude in your home
  • The difference between the conditioning of the mind and the needs of the heart

What’s wrong is always available, but so is what’s right. What will you focus on this holiday season? How will you set the tone in your home and in your own presence? Don’t settle for a mediocre, frustrating and stressful holiday season or life. Decide to make it the best. Decide to improve your relationships, practice gratitude and radiate love, no matter what.

About The Fireside Chat Series

In the 1930s and 40s, a time when the country was struggling even more than it is today, we had an amazing leader named President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. He began doing evening radio programs called “fireside chats,” designed to communicate directly with the American people. 

At that time, 90% of people in the U.S. at that time had a radio. Today, 96% of people have a cell phone and nearly all have internet access. Instead of being unified and watching all the same things, and having a collective experience, now we’re all kind of separated. And we can see division in our culture. We desperately need a form of unity, a form of connection, more humanity and more kindness in the world.

Tony and Sage thought to bring back this time-honored tradition of a fireside chat as a means of unity and compassion. We’re entering the winter season, drawing inward into our homes and into ourselves, reflecting on the hardships and blessings alike this unique year has brought. In this three-part series, you will hear them dispel their hopes and dreams for you this holiday season, as well as share some of Tony’s powerful tools and strategies to not only survive the coming months, but to step up and thrive.


00:01:05 Welcome Back from Tony and Sage
00:52:00 Today’s Fireside Chat theme 
00:02:36 What’s the purpose of the holiday for Tony and Sage
00:03:14 Down the rabbit hole
00:03:33 “Where focus goes, energy flows”
0:04:08 Reconnecting to the true meaning of the holiday 
00:04:51 Rules and what they mean for us
00:06:00 Tony’s friend 
00:06:26 Sage’s big (not) Italian family 
00:07:00 A lot of our stress is how we’ve been raised
00:08:15 Doublemint gum commercial 
00:09:20 Love doesn’t care 
00:10:00 Gratitude destroys fear 
00:10:30 Sage’s family growing up
00:11:30 Sage’s phone call with a friend 
00:12:37 Steer towards what you do love
00:12:56 A powerful tool from Tony
00:13:28 Tony’s running 
00:15:20 Tony puts a list together 
00:16:00 Tony works with a little boy who struggles with overeating 
00:17:07 Increasing desire
00:17:46 What’s your current thought when you think about the holidays?
00:18:28 Quantifying and Qualifying your holiday 
00:19:02 Sage talks about creating a sanctuary in your home 
00:20:33 Scoring your life 
00:21:00 The holidays can be a chance to rewire yourself 
00:22:09 The power of thank you
00:24:00 An invitation 
00:25:10 Trade your expectation for appreciation 
00:25:27 Sage offers a way to bring ourselves back from stress
00:27:13 Thank you from Tony and Sage
00:27:30 KK unpacks fireside chat number two 
00:30:29 The importance of accountability 
00:31:44 Tony Robbins coaching

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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