Embracing your relationship polarity

One couple’s breakthrough at Date With Destiny

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For many couples, the passion and excitement that was once present in the beginning of the relationship fizzles over time. This is usually a result of the failure of innovating in your relationship. You get too comfortable and as a result, your relationship starts to lack the spark that attracted you to your partner.

In this podcast episode, we are sharing an exclusive clip from a previous Date with Destiny event. Hear Tony work with Nikki and Michael – a couple struggling to regain the polarity in their relationship and how a few shifts in perspective and beliefs help them achieve an intimacy and connection that brings true fulfillment and happiness to their lives.

The power of polarity

Each person in a couple brings either masculine or feminine energy to the relationship. Polarity, or opposing energies, is one of the keys to lasting passion in a relationship. The masculine energy is decisive, courageous and persistent, but also compassionate. The feminine energy is loving, nurturing and thrives on connection. Complementary energies in a couple create balance, allowing each person to be their true self. 

Nikki and Michael knew that their relationship had depolarized, yet they didn’t know how to get their polarity back. They were having trouble letting go of destructive patterns and re-embracing their natural energies. That’s when they talked to Tony. 

Letting go of the past

Nikki and Michael have been together for 22 years, and they’ve been through a lot. When Michael had cancer and then a motorbike accident, Nikki picked up the masculine side of the relationship: running the business, making decisions and being a pillar of strength for Michael and their family. Michael is now ready to take back his masculine energy and free Nikki to be who she naturally is. But Nikki can’t seem to let him. 

As Tony tells them, “Do you want the past or do you want the future? If you want the future, you have to let go of the past.” Nikki has to trust that Michael is there for her. She needs to allow herself and her relationship to grow. 

Giving up certainty

Why is it so difficult for Nikki to move forward? Because by living in a more masculine energy, she’s actually meeting one of her deepest human needs: certainty. It’s given her a sense of control. But when you’re completely driven by certainty, there’s no room for thrill, mystery and surprise – and “Passion is found in the realm of uncertainty.”

With Tony’s help, Nikki begins her journey back to her true self, embracing her feminine energy and allowing herself to be vulnerable again. Listen to the podcast to hear her incredible journey.


[01:28] An introduction to polarity
[03:00] Mike’s vision for his relationship
[05:30] Nikki’s vision for the relationship
[08:15] Rewarding your partner disproportionately
[12:15] How Nikki and Mike lost polarity
[13:30] Tony helps Nikki find her feminine core
[14:45] Tony helps Nikki allow her partner in
[18:30] Shifting from the head to the heart
[21:35] The needs that have been driving Nikki
[25:00] Tony presses Nikki to spur her husband into action
[29:00] Nikki begins to learn how to reveal her core self
[34:00] Life can happen for you, not to you
[37:00] What real masculinity is
[38:00] Breaking through
[40:20] True masculinity never gives up
[41:20] What is real presence

Nikki and Michael both know that when you have passion in your relationship, you can face anything. But to do that, you need to make choices that come from your heart, not your head. 

Of Date With Destiny, Nikki said, “I came hoping someone was going to help us solve the issues, but I realized we’re the only ones that can do that.” Attend DWD to discover what you need for lasting love and personal fulfillment – and in the meantime, take this assessment to find out if you are more masculine or feminine at your core. 

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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