Jordan Harbinger on the power of social capital

How the relationship expert leans on communication and relationships to build businesses

If you want to build a better business, focus on building better relationships. Every relationship you have, including the ones with your employees, customers, vendors, colleagues, contacts and investors, build your social capital. Your social capital creates a level of trust, understanding and loyalty with the people around you. Even in uncertain economic times, your social capital is power – allowing your business the opportunity to thrive.

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Jordan Harbinger: interpersonal dynamic expert

In this episode of the Tony Robbins Podcast, we speak with Jordan Harbinger of The Jordan Harbinger Show. A two-time graduate of the University of Michigan, Jordan is a Wall Street lawyer turned talk show host who knows a thing or two about building relationships. After starting his first podcast, The PickUp Podcast, in law school, he went on to start a dating coaching business, an app and a corresponding podcast called The Art of Charm. His talk show, Game On, was the first-ever podcast carried on satellite radio. He is widely regarded as an expert in social influence, interpersonal dynamics and social engineering.

Communication and relationships

Jordan discusses how important communication is when it comes to building those social relationships and increasing your social capital. Being able to properly understand nonverbal cues and gestures is an important, but often overlooked, aspect of communication.

From your facial expressions to the way you carry yourself, every nonverbal cue has the potential to communicate specific attributes about who you are as a person – whether you are insecure or confident, approachable or aloof, curious or disinterested. Humans are wired to subconsciously interpret these signals. We are innately inclined to make sweeping judgments and inferences from body language.

These judgments can ultimately influence meaningful life decisions, like who we choose to employ or engage with. They also influence our business and marketing decisions. People like to do business with people they have strong connections or relationships with. They connect with marketing campaigns that feel relatable. This is where your social capital comes into play – it can affect everything from your brand identity to your social media influence. If you want to boost your business, focusing on your communication style and relationships are great places to start.

How nonverbal communication influence relationships

One of the biggest impacts on our relationships is our nonverbal signals. Listen as Jordan helps us understand how these nonverbal signals influence our relationships, our interactions and our abilities to get what we want in life. He explains how becoming comfortable in our skin will improve how we communicate nonverbally. If you want to build a stronger and more sustainable business, focus on sending out nonverbal signals that you are confident and secure in yourself and your business.

Not sure how to make that happen? Take a personality test to help figure out your communication style and work on improving it. You can also find someone you admire and observe their behavior. Take time to notice how they walk, talk and carry themselves. Train yourself to mimic their nonverbal behaviors. The more you work on your communication techniques, the better they will get. 

Jordan wraps up this episode by explaining the good, the bad and the ugly of podcast hosting. He dives into how to use this popular media format to scale your business and leave a lasting impression on your audience.



[01:30] The importance of social capital
[02:00] Nonverbal cues and gestures communicate more than words do
[02:40] How we interpret and react to nonverbal communication
[03:00] Jordan Harbinger
[03:40] Jordan introduces himself and how he became the host of The Art of Charm
[04:30] His former career as a lawyer
[05:30] His first lesson on creating value
[06:20] The value of creating relationships
[08:00] Most of us aren’t prepared for understanding the value of making relationships
[09:30] Evidence that introverts are better at creating relationships
[10:00] Introverts think deeply, observe people well and develop strong rapport
[10:30] Learning to leverage your personality
[11:50] The basic skills and techniques everyone needs to master
[12:15] The importance of nonverbal communication skills
[12:35] Our first impression is not made when we decide to make it
[13:50] The way we make first impressions and decisions about whether to engage or not
[15:30] We preframe people in a way that makes us feel comfortable
[16:15] We are being perceived nonverbally constantly by other people
[17:30] The truth behind over-confident individuals and our subconscious filter
[19:15] Our bodies are really terrible at lying
[20:10] Our innate ability to perceive nonverbal communication
[20:45] The gestures that can give off a good impression
[21:05] Creating “comfort” in social settings
[21:30] We naturally mirror other people, particularly their emotional states
[22:15] When we focus on the outcome, we get nervous
[23:00] Practice “coming into our own skin”
[23:30] Physical state change begets emotional transformation
[24:00] Practice mastering the skill of finding comfort
[25:00] The doorway drill
[26:15] We never rise to the level of our expectations, we default to the level of our training
[27:00] Creating a habit of open, positive body language
[29:45] Starting the positive reinforcement train
[31:00] Small shifts create massive changes
[32:50] Building trust in yourself
[33:40] The Art of Charm “AOC” podcast
[34:30] The power of modeling the masters
[35:00] The initial focus on dating and relationships evolved into examining human behavior
[36:00] Several valuable lessons Jordan has learned from his guests
[38:00] The most rewarding parts of AOC
[39:00] What’s next on the AOC podcast – elevator pitches, influence and persuasion, surrounding yourself with the right people
[39:25] Elevating your inner circle
[41:50] The popularity of podcasts
[42:10] Leveraging podcasts to strengthen your business
[46:00] Why most businesses should not have a podcast
[48:15] The importance of tying in quality and high performance into your business
[50:30] Negative branding
[51:30] Generating leads from a podcast
[52:30] Running commercials through podcasts
[53:15] Companies that do not get ROI on podcast commercials

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Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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