How to never give up
Life can be downright sad, even bleak. Whether you’ve lost a job, ended a relationship or someone close to you has passed away, sometimes it can be hard to believe that “Life happens for you, not to you.”
When you feel like giving up, what can you do? The answer is, a lot! As Tony Robbins says, “It’s our decisions, not our conditions, that ultimately shape the quality of our lives.” When you feel defeated or frustrated, you can make the decision to take the first step toward changing your state.
To quote another great leader, Theodore Roosevelt, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain [and] difficulty.” The best things in life won’t be handed to you. When you feel like quitting, what you really need to do is get back in the game and insist on achieving everything you desire.
Why do I feel like giving up?
The first step to overcoming defeat is to determine why you feel this way. You may know the triggering event, but you need to go beyond the specific “thing” that happened and get to the root of the problem – how it made you feel. When you feel like giving up, there are three limiting emotions that could be the cause: “loss,” “less” or “never.”
1. Loss is a familiar human experience – but that doesn’t make it any easier. Losing someone close to you is one of the hardest things in life. Losing a job can make you feel inadequate and hopeless. And ending a relationship, even when it’s mutual, can leave a huge hole in your life.
2. Less is a feeling that you’re just not good enough. You didn’t get that raise you were going for or your coworker got a promotion over you. You had a big game and you didn’t beat the competition. But there are always things to be grateful for – and you can always improve, because progress is success.
3. Never is the worst feeling of them all. If you get turned down for a date, you feel like you’ll never find love. If your business fails, you feel like giving up and going to work a regular 9-to-5 office job. When you feel like quitting, it’s essential to recognize that these are limiting beliefs that only hold you back.
Signs of giving up on life
When you feel like giving up, you may think you’re just going through a phase that will be over soon. There are a few signs that it’s more serious than that.
You’re no longer passionate
You no longer feel that spark for things that used to inspire you. You used to enjoy volunteering, but now you’re apathetic about giving back. You used to love music, or art, or dancing, but now you don’t have the energy. You feel overwhelmed by life, instead of excited about it.
You withdraw from your friends and family
Social withdrawal is one of the biggest signs of giving up on life. If you no longer want to go out with friends, call your parents or siblings and generally avoid social interactions, you’re entering a dangerous zone.
You’re having negative thoughts
The words we use both internally and externally have a big impact on the way we perceive the world – and on our emotions. When you feel like giving up, these thoughts can actually be dangerous.
What to do when you feel like giving up
The good news is there are concrete steps you can take to change your state. There is a science of happiness – it’s not all up to fate. When you feel like quitting, you can actually reprogram your mind to achieve your goals, whatever they may be.
1. Change your physiology
How you look equals how you feel. Sounds too easy, right? But resetting your mood just means standing up straight, throwing your shoulders back and taking deep breaths. Feeling irritated or sad? Smile. Your body can trick your mind – and that’s how you change your state.
Exercise is another proven way to change your state. Science has proven the benefits of exercise again and again, from reducing depression to lowering your risk of dementia. It doesn’t have to be something you dread each day. It can be walking the dog or doing an at-home yoga video. The best exercise you can get is something you enjoy so that you will keep up your routine and see all the benefits to your mental health.
2. Nourish your body – and your mind
Tony Robbins: NeuroBoost B12
When you feel like giving up, you’re not thinking about taking care of yourself. But nourishing your body is about more than looking good. It’s about feeling good – not just about yourself, but about the world. When you don’t nourish your body, you feel it. You have trouble concentrating and you get “hangry.” You have less energy and even everyday tasks make you think, “I feel like giving up and going back to bed.”
The food you eat is your body’s fuel, but it’s also your mind’s fuel. When you feed your body right, it can change your whole mindset. When you have energy, you have vitality, and the ability to achieve your goals. Eating an alkaline diet is a vital step in becoming healthier in both body and mind. It’s all about balancing the acidic foods you eat – like coffee, dairy, sugar and alcohol – with alkaline foods, like leafy green vegetables, whole grains and nuts. Not enough time? Check out NeuroBoost-B12 and BioEnergy Greens™.
3. Practice gratitude
The act of giving thanks can make you happier. Studies have found that practicing gratitude reduces depression and also lowers negative emotions like envy and resentment. When you feel like giving up, adopting an abundance mindset isn’t always easy. We’re all human, and as humans, we tend to get stuck in patterns of thinking that can be hard to overcome.
If you’re wondering what to do when you feel like giving up, you can start practicing gratitude with morning rituals like incantations or writing in a gratitude journal. Make it a point to look around you or close your eyes and think of all the things you have to be grateful for. Taking the time to give thanks can be transformative – and takes hardly any time at all.
4. Change your words
Our beliefs create our world – and our thoughts are extensions of our beliefs. The words we choose can actually impact our emotions and our perception of reality: When you have thoughts like “I have nothing to live for,” and “I’m so tired of everything,” these thoughts become your reality, regardless of whether they are true. No matter what others tell you, you begin to believe that you’ll never achieve what you want anyway – so you might as well give up right now.
When you change your words, you change your life. Learn to question the negative thoughts that run through your head. Byron Katie’s Four Questions are an incredible system for isolating these thoughts and turning them around: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? What happens when you believe that thought? And who would you be without that thought? You’d likely be a happier and more fulfilled person.
5. Improve your relationships
You are who you surround yourself with – so make sure you’re surrounded by loving, supportive people. Even the most individualistic humans are social animals, and isolation can be another big contributor when you feel like giving up. When you add social media into the mix, you may even feel more inadequate and disconnected.
Ask your partner to join your exercise routine, such as going for a walk or a bike ride. No partner? Learn a new skill where you’ll be part of a group, like dance, a bowling league or even cooking classes. Look at your existing relationships too. It can be hard to cut toxic people out of your life, but as you make new friends, it will get easier to say goodbye to relationships that bring you down.
When you feel like quitting, it takes work to build your inner strength and overcome hardships, but always remember, “Success and failure are not overnight experiences. It’s the small decisions along the way that cause people to fail or succeed.” You can spot the signs of giving up on life, change the path you’re on and start achieving again. The power is yours.
Ready to get your life back on track?
A Tony Robbins Results Coach can help you tap into your inner strength, discover your purpose and never give up again.