How to find yourself
Have you ever met someone and thought, “That person knows exactly who they are”? They’re confident, decisive and passionate. They have an unstoppable belief in themselves and their vision for the world. They have not only connected with their authentic selves, they have fully embraced them.
You can also experience this sense of fulfillment – but first you must learn how to find yourself.
Are you thinking, “Finding myself seems like a lot of work”? It is. Creating a life that is fulfilling, purposeful and passionate is no accident. It takes work. And it starts with unlocking the secrets to how to find your true self. Then you can design a life that is in line with your personal destiny.
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1. Reflect on your story
All of our actions and decisions reflect the story we tell ourselves – the beliefs we’ve formed beginning in childhood, when we wanted to earn the love of our caretakers. The events and experiences of our lives since then, as well as our knowledge about the world, influence our story into adulthood.
If you’re interested in finding yourself, reflection is the first step. Use a journal to record how you became the person you are today. Begin a meditation practice to quiet your mind and dig deeper into who you really are. Releasing your emotions has a cathartic effect that will start you on your journey toward understanding how to find yourself.
2. Determine your values
Don’t make the mistake of believing your past is your story. As Tony tells us, “Everybody’s got a past. The past does not equal the future unless you live there.” While it’s helpful to reflect on your past in order to discover how you’ve formed the beliefs you have today, learning how to find yourself is about growth and forward movement.
No matter what happened in your past, it’s up to you to determine your values. Our values are our guiding light in the world, yet so many of us don’t know our own values. We have an idea in our head of who we “should” be – but this idea of ourselves comes from limiting beliefs that are formed as a result of others’ opinions, not our own. You can change your values. You can be whatever you desire, as long as you believe in yourself.
3. Silence your negative self-talk
As you reflect on your story and begin to determine your values, you’ll naturally tune in to your self-talk. Perhaps you’ve noticed it before – but have you ever questioned it? Is your self-talk positive or negative, empowering or disempowering? Does it encourage you to get out of your comfort zone or keep you living in fear?
If you’re saying to yourself, “How can I possibly focus on finding myself?” then it’s time to silence your inner critic. Examine your thoughts as if you are your own best friend – you’d probably never let your friends talk to themselves that way. Once you recognize damaging thoughts, replace them with empowering ones that push you toward your goals instead of holding you back.
4. Discover your strengths
When you go through life living up to others’ expectations and allowing negative self-talk to bring you down, it’s impossible to know how to find your true self. When you begin the journey to finding yourself, discovering your strengths can be the most exciting part.
To start the process, think back on the last time you felt like you were in your element. Were you writing, singing, playing a sport, connecting with someone on a deep level, fixing things around the house or volunteering? This feeling of happiness and purpose is a sign of your strengths. Once you’ve identified your strengths, you can leverage them – along with your values – to create an extraordinary life.
5. Recognize what doesn’t serve you
Still thinking, “Finding myself seems impossible”? If you’re still struggling to find yourself, you need to reveal who you are as an individual. To do that, you need to free yourself from patterns and relationships that don’t serve you.
The human brain craves patterns because they conserve energy. When we fall into patterns, the brain doesn’t have to make decisions about certain actions and behaviors. Patterns can be extremely damaging, but once you recognize them, you can build better habits that serve you.
Even more difficult than changing your habits is recognizing the relationships that don’t serve you. But you must let them go. Instead, surround yourself with people who allow you to be your best self, with no inhibitions. People who encourage you to aim higher, achieve more and reach your peak state. Anything less, and you will always wonder how to find yourself – and never find out.
Ready to discover how to find yourself?
To find yourself, you need to look deep within. At Date With Destiny, you’ll uncover what drives you and learn how to use it to create a fulfilling life.