The masculine masks that hurt men

“Be a man.” “Man up.” “Start acting like a man.” These are things we hear all the time – in the locker room, in the media, in our own homes. We’ve been conditioned to adopt certain beliefs about what “masculinity” is, and we routinely force those ideals and expectations upon others, and upon ourselves. But what has this cost us?

In this episode, Tony’s editorial director, Ana Yoerg, sits down with Lewis Howes to talk about the masks men wear and how he learned how to break through the walls that hold men back to find true happiness.

Who is Lewis Howes?

Lewis Howes is an entrepreneur, performance coach and host of a top-ranked podcast, The School of Greatness. He authored a best-selling book by the same title as well as his book The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives. He is also a speaker and philanthropist.

Lewis was a two-sport All-American who went on to play football professionally. He built his podcast into a global phenomenon. And he became financially and professionally successful beyond his wildest dreams. By all accounts, Lewis fit the cultural ideal of what a masculine man is expected to be. Yet he still didn’t feel fulfilled. That’s when he began his personal journey.

The masculine energy

According to the law of polarity, human beings have either a masculine or feminine energy. The masculine energy is strong, decisive and purposeful. The feminine energy is open, loving and free. When we are able to live in the pureness of our true energy, we feel happy and fulfilled. But oftentimes our life experiences cause us to become something we’re not.

As Lewis realized, the masculine identity can also be built on misguided beliefs about what “masculinity” really is: dangerous, false ideas learned from stereotypes in the media. And like so many men, Lewis grew up to be angry, frustrated and always chasing something that was never enough.

So at 30 years old, Lewis began a personal journey to and shed the many masks that he and so many other men wear, and to discover who he is at his core. He sought advice from some of the world’s best psychologists, doctors and household names – like Tony Robbins himself. And he learned how to drop his mask and find a new level of freedom he never thought possible.