You couldn’t stand being away from your partner at the beginning of your relationship. You thought about them all the time. You were physically near them whenever possible. Why is that? It’s because there was an initial spark and an enormous sense of passion that was binding you two together. This spark is caused by the law of polarity in relationships.
Over time, you’ve found that that passion has fizzled. You still love your partner, but your relationship is lacking the magnetic attraction it once had. One thing is certain: Love is not enough. You need both love and passion for your relationship to work.
Relationship polarity is the ultimate key to passion. In any successful relationship that has an intimate connection and sexual attraction, there is polarity. What does this mean exactly?
Polarity in relationships is the spark that occurs between two opposing energies: masculine and feminine. Gender does not affect whether you have masculine or feminine energy. Couples can be the same or opposite sex, but in order for the pairing to work, one partner has to provide the masculine polarity while the other brings the feminine polarity.
Many problems in relationships can be traced back to depolarization, which is when one or both partners feels the need to develop the traits of the opposite energy. When a relationship depolarizes, you don’t feel the connection you used to, either because both of you have developed the same type of energy or because you are not embracing your true selves.
The energy that drives masculine polarity is focused and directive. Masculine energies are most fulfilled when they have a purpose and are working toward a goal. They have a strong physical presence and are centered and unwavering. They are good decision-makers and love a challenge, and while they can seem unemotional, they want to be appreciated for their skills and contributions.
Masculine polarity can become depolarized when they are required to take on the role of caretaker in the relationship or if their partner questions their direction (whether because they are lost while driving or are flailing with direction in life). Someone with masculine energy won’t feel a sexual tie to their partner if they feel overly criticized, controlled or that their partner is closed off to them.
Feminine polarity seeks emotional fulfillment and connection. This energy is open and full of energy, oftentimes nurturing, other times more free-spirited. It is all about emotion for the feminine partner – giving and receiving love, making connections and appreciating the beauty of life.
For a person with feminine polarity, if they feel unseen, feel unsafe or feel that they’re not understood, then there will be no sexual attraction for their masculine partner. Similarly, if a feminine person is criticized for looking run down or worn out, this makes them feel less radiant and unloved, and they will start to shut down. As David Deida says, “Never tell a man with a masculine sexual essence that he is wrong, and never tell a woman with a feminine sexual essence that she is ugly.”
When your relationship polarity becomes too similar, passion dies. Now what do you have? In place of what was once a sexy, fun, amazing relationship is now a friendship.
Here’s what Tony has to say:
Remember, you have the power to give your partner what they need in the relationship. You have the power to create relationship polarity.
Have you ever held two magnets together? You know that similar energies repel each other, but opposites attract. The same is true of masculine and feminine polarity. Two people with similar energies can love each other, but they can never have passion. And single people who haven’t embraced their true core energy won’t attract a partner that is right for them. They need to identify their core energy and learn how to notice the energy of potential partners. When you know what you’re looking for in a relationship, it’s easier to find someone with compatible polarity and develop passion.
We all wear masks in life – we act differently as parents, as friends and as partners. We create masks to protect us from fear: The fear that we are not enough and the fear that we will not be loved are intensely powerful. Underneath the mask, our innate energy doesn’t change. But masks make it possible to give off an energy that is not our core essence. To make the law of polarity in relationships work for you, you must strip away the mask and embrace your natural energy.
A little girl is born with a feminine polarity.
A little girl learns to create a masculine mask in childhood. This happens when either her mother teaches her never to become dependent on a man, or her father dominates and wants to make her stronger.
A little girl learns to put a feminine mask over her masculine mask. This happens when a girl sees men attracted to other females who are truly feminine.
A woman learns to put on a strong masculine mask. This happens when a woman gets hurt.
A little boy is born with a masculine polarity.
A little boy learns to create a feminine mask in childhood. This happens when he has a powerful father that dominates, or a mother who teaches that being masculine is bad and rewards pleasing behaviors.
A little boy learns to put a masculine mask over his feminine mask. This happens when a boy realizes that he is not attracting females.
A man learns to put on a strong feminine mask. This happens when a man has been hurt by women and learns to please them.
When you become able to embrace your true energy, be it masculine or feminine, you will be able to give your authentic self to your partner or to attract compatible partners with whom you share passion. This is the first step to creating relationship polarity. The next step is to examine your relationship itself.
It can be a challenge for you to look at the current state of your relationship. Is it truly all it could be right now? Why not? If both you and your partner want to make this partnership work, what’s preventing you from doing so?
You must knock down the walls you’ve built up over time with your partner and gain an understanding of why you do the things you do. First identify the issues that create pain for your partner – and take responsibility for your role in them. Only then can you stop causing pain and start creating pleasure. If you’re single, you must use the law of polarity in relationships to find the traits you need in a long-term partner, and learn how to sustain a healthy relationship once you’ve found your ideal significant other.
To restore polarity in relationships, examine the issues in your life that have caused depolarization. Did a medical scare cause the partner with feminine energy to inhabit a more masculine role in the relationship? Was it a surprising affair that caused the masculine partner to feel unseen and insecure, traits more closely linked to feminine energy? Just because your relationship polarity has shifted, doesn’t mean it can’t be helped.
The law of polarity in relationships only works if both partners feel safe. If the feminine partner feels too insecure to relax into their femininity or the masculine partner is bent out of shape and loses his masculine backbone, the relationship depolarizes. Many couples spend years this way and get used to the loss of passion, but you don’t have to. You just need to have the courage to be vulnerable.
The discipline of absolute courage and vulnerability is one of the Five Disciplines of Love and is essential to regaining relationship polarity. Both partners – including the more emotionally closed-off masculine polarity – must commit to being present, staying connected and completely accepting their partner for who they are.
It’s often a painful experience that causes depolarization. It could have been an event that happened in childhood and caused the person to put on a mask, or it could be something that occurred within the relationship. Stepping into your pain with a partner you know you can trust completely is the only way to overcome this obstacle and take off your mask once and for all.
The ultimate expression of the law of polarity in relationships is sexual attraction and fulfillment.
To create relationship polarity – to have a fulfilling sexual relationship that is sustainable – you must truly embrace and appreciate your partner’s energy. Each polarity wants to feel appreciated: masculine energies want to feel appreciated for their contributions, while feminine energies want to feel understood and appreciated for who they are.
A masculine man can go from cold and distant to open and honest when his partner makes him feel that his skills and opinions are important and valid. A feminine woman can go from tight and controlling to free and radiant once her partner makes her feel appreciated, needed and loved. Both energies must stop expecting their partner to be something they are not, and instead appreciate everything that they bring to the relationship. As Tony says, “Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant.”
If your relationship is lacking polarity, you can learn how to get it back. If you’re single and still searching for your ideal mate, you can learn to understand what type of energy you bring to a relationship and what you attract in return. Once you’re clear in your purpose and recognize what’s gone wrong, you’ll discover how to use relationship polarity to feel fulfilled long-term.
Rekindle the lost spark by attending the six-day event that has already helped millions of people around the world. Reserve your spot today and prepare to watch your relationship change for the better.