How to prioritize yourself

Socrates’ quote “Know thyself” is one of his most famous, but did you know he also wrote about caring for yourself? The full quote is “Know thyself, for once we know ourselves, we may learn how to care for ourselves.” Today it seems that everyone endorses self-care – yet finding the time and energy to prioritize yourself in this busy world is another story.

Learning how to prioritize yourself goes beyond self-care. It means crushing the beliefs that are keeping you indebted to others’ priorities and prioritizing your own dreams and ambitions instead. Find a deep belief that you matter. Put yourself first – so that you don’t end up last. It isn’t always easy, but it will be worth it not only for you, but for your loved ones.

1. Shift your mindset

The first step is to shift your mindset and stop thinking of prioritizing yourself as selfish. Tony says that you have to help yourself before helping others. When we spend all of our time caring for others, we end up feeling tired and stressed, and that can actually make us less able to focus and connect with others. We can’t engage with our children or partners. We don’t excel at work. We don’t achieve our goals.

When you take time for yourself, you’ll feel recharged and energized. You’ll rediscover your passions and personal connections. You may even fall in love with yourself all over again. Then you’re able to use that energy and growth to help the people who matter most even more. So throw out the idea that you must always say “yes” and start putting yourself first.

2. Conquer your limiting beliefs

Once you embrace the idea that you must help yourself to help others, you’ll still have some work to do. Shifting your mindset – and your life – in this way involves getting your own “mental house” right. That means identifying and overcoming your limiting beliefs: the stories you tell yourself that are holding you back from learning how to prioritize yourself.

Do you feel you need to be everything to everyone? Are you a perfectionist or even a controlling person? These types of limiting beliefs often stem from our childhood experiences of having to earn the love of our caregivers. If you were made to feel you didn’t deserve love unless you put others first, those beliefs follow you into adulthood – and limit your ability to prioritize yourself.

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3. Forget expectations

Limiting beliefs are often built on the expectations of others. We feel pressure to excel in our careers, have the perfect home and keep the passion alive in our relationships. Our parents want certain things for us. Our spouses have their own needs and desires. Our friends expect us to keep up with a certain way of life or to put the group first. Even strangers can pressure us through advertising and social norms.

To prioritize yourself, it’s essential to remember one thing: the expectations of others – especially strangers – don’t matter. You must create your own blueprint for your life. When was the last time you thought about what you really want? Career, financial freedom and relationships are all important, but prioritizing your true goals in each of these areas will ultimately bring you the most fulfillment.

4. Discover your true self

It’s easy to get caught up in identities that the world creates for us: boss, parent, partner, son and daughter. When these roles end – when the kids move away, when you retire – you finally have the time to prioritize yourself, but you don’t know who you really are. Once you forget others’ expectations, you’re free to discover your true self.

Stop thinking about what others want and ask yourself: What are you most passionate about? When you finally find a quiet moment to yourself, what do you most want to do? Then schedule in more of those quiet moments and start doing those things. Maybe you need to wake up earlier to read, write or practice priming. Perhaps you take one weekend a month to hike, bike or spend time with friends. Help yourself to help others by recommitting to your passions.

5. Keep growing

We’re all busy. We’re taking the kids to activities, working late at the office, spending time with friends and family and caring for aging parents. With so little time on our hands, we start to confuse being busy with growth. But putting others first doesn’t mean you’re growing. Learning how to prioritize yourself is essential to true growth – and if you’re not growing, you’re dying.

6. The Power of State Management

One of the fastest ways to shift from overwhelm to empowerment is by changing your physical state. At my events, I have people stand up, move, and use their voice—because when you change your body, you change your mind. I remember a woman at Unleash the Power Within who felt stuck in a cycle of putting everyone else first. We had her jump, breathe deeply, and shout out what she was grateful for. In minutes, her energy transformed. When you feel depleted, stand tall, breathe deeply, and move with purpose. This simple shift can help you reclaim your power and prioritize yourself, even on the toughest days.

7. Set Boundaries That Empower

Prioritizing yourself means learning to say no with love and conviction. I’ve coached countless people who felt guilty for setting boundaries, but the truth is, boundaries are a gift to both you and those around you. At Date With Destiny, I worked with a man who was burning out because he never said no at work. Together, we crafted a simple, respectful way for him to communicate his limits. The result? He gained respect, reduced stress, and had more energy for his family. Remember, every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else. Make sure your yeses align with your true priorities.

8. Create Rituals for Self-Priority

Rituals are the secret to making self-care automatic. I start every day with a priming routine—breathwork, gratitude, and visualization. At my events, I teach people to create their own rituals, whether it’s a morning walk, journaling, or a few minutes of meditation. I once met a single mom who felt she had no time for herself. We designed a five-minute nightly ritual just for her—reading, stretching, or simply breathing deeply. That small act became her anchor, reminding her daily that she matters. What’s one ritual you could start to reinforce your commitment to yourself?

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9. Leverage the Power of Your Peer Group

“Proximity is power.” Who you spend time with shapes your standards, your beliefs, and your destiny. At Leadership Academy, I’ve seen people transform simply by connecting with others who are committed to growth. If your current circle doesn’t support your priorities, seek out new connections—join a mastermind, attend events, or find an accountability partner. I’ve watched people’s lives change just by upgrading their peer group. Surround yourself with those who lift you higher and respect your boundaries.

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10. Track Your Progress and Celebrate Wins

Progress equals happiness. At my events, we celebrate every breakthrough, no matter how small. I encourage you to keep a journal or a simple list of your wins—times you said no, moments you put yourself first, or new rituals you maintained. I remember a participant who struggled to acknowledge her progress. Once she started tracking her wins, her confidence soared and her momentum skyrocketed. Celebrate yourself. Every step forward is a victory.

11. Give Yourself Permission to Grow

The ultimate act of prioritizing yourself is giving yourself permission to evolve. At every event, I see people break free from old identities and step into new possibilities. You are not defined by your past or by others’ expectations. You have the power to rewrite your story, starting today. As I always say, “The past does not equal the future—unless you live there.” Embrace growth, embrace change, and watch your life transform.

Prioritize Yourself, Transform Your Life

Commit to constant and never-ending improvement in every area of your life, but especially in your own personal growth. Keep a journal or a list of your self-care activities, new skills and latest knowledge. Feed your mind with inspiring books, articles or quotes about prioritizing yourself.

Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation for living a life of passion, purpose, and true contribution. When you shift your mindset, break free from limiting beliefs, and set boundaries that honor your needs, you unlock the energy and clarity to serve others at the highest level. Remember, growth is a lifelong journey. Celebrate your progress, surround yourself with people who lift you higher, and give yourself permission to evolve. The more you invest in yourself, the more you have to give. Start today—because you matter, and your best life is waiting. Live with passion.

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