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From the Vault: Tony Robbins & Dr. Gerald Jampolsky & Diane Cirincione
The power of forgiveness, letting go of fear and finding true intimacy
In this special mini-season, we are unlocking the vaults to bring you exclusive, in-depth conversations between Tony and four truly outstanding achievers and impressive innovators. These dynamic individuals are not just experts in their respective fields — they are pioneers. They are charting new territory and breaking new ground. And their insights, ideas and drive are shaping the world we live in.
With each episode, you will be privy to a wealth of powerful ideas and strategies that you can use immediately to increase income, influence others more effectively, advance your career, enhance your personal relationships, improve your health, eliminate fears, and experience more joy and fulfillment in your life.
In this episode, you will hear an invigorating discussion between Tony and Dr. Gerald Jampolsky and Dr. Diane Cirincione, as they delve into forgiveness, letting go of fear, relinquishing control and finding true intimacy.
Dr. Jampolsky, a graduate of the Stanford University School of Medicine, is a world-renowned child and adult psychologist. In 1975, he established the first Center for Attitudinal Healing in Marin County, California, where people of all ages, faiths and cultures have a welcoming space to find inner peace and well-being. His wife, Dr. Diane Cirincione, a clinical psychologist, has been working alongside him since 1981, while also working as a current faculty member of the University of Hawaii medical school.
Between the two of them, they have published 16 books, including Love is Letting Go of Fear, Teach Only Love and Goodbye to Guilt. They have received a number of international humanitarian awards, including one of the American Medical Association’s highest honors, the Excellence in Medicine Pride in the Profession Award, for their contribution of Attitudinal Healing to the mental-health field, for being inspirations to others and for decades of humanitarian service. And over the last several decades, this husband-wife team have been traveling the world, helping others find peace in their hearts and minds through love and forgiveness.
From the Vault: Tony Robbins & Dr. Gerald Jampolsky & Diane Cirincione (Part 1)
Dr. Gerald Jampolsky & Dr. Diane Cirincione SHOW NOTES
[3:00] A background of pain and a moment of awakening
[8:15] Shedding old models
[9:15] Healing old wounds
[9:45] The impact of the ego
[12:00] The vulnerability of a child closes
[13:20] Control vs. love
[14:30] Letting go of pain and finding forgiveness
[17:00] Why we don’t forgive
[18:30] How to transform a past event
[21:00] Their most important belief systems
[25:00] Taking responsibility for your own thoughts and emotions
[26:00] The power of listening
[27:55] Loving responses or cries for help
[30:00] Helping others to let go
[33:30] Responding with love
[36:00] Forgiving your religious training
Healing old wounds
Gerald Jampolsky and Diane Cirincione discuss the importance of healing old wounds as a way to forgive when trust has been betrayed. If these wounds are not addressed, we get caught up in a cycle of negative thought and behavior patterns that perpetuate a cycle that is difficult to break. When we focus on healing the wound at its source, we can break these patterns and create healthier ones based on empathy and gratitude.
Being in charge of your emotions
Forgiveness is all about letting go of the past and moving forward in a healthier manner. Diane Cirincione discusses the reason that so many people have difficulty letting go is due to them not realizing that past traumatic events are no longer happening to them. They continue to feel like a victim because they cannot change the past. She believes, just as Tony does, that we need to be the master of own emotions to forgive and develop intimacy. When we realize that our thoughts, actions, perceptions and judgments are all that remain of past trauma, we can change those and be in charge of own healing.
Loving responses and cries for help
One of the most impactful messages Tony took from Diane Cirincione and Gerald Jampolsky’s books was that all responses are either based on love or fear. Even when it looks like rage or an attack, it’s actually a cry for help. When we see that our partners are fearful when they negatively react to a situation, we can be gentle with them instead of judging them or reacting with our own fear-based response. Dr. Jampolsky reminds us that our purpose in life is to love, forgive and be of service to others – and when we see their true motivations, it’s much easier to do so.
Interested in learning more about letting go and forgiveness from Dr. Gerald Jampolsky and Diane Cirincione? Listen to part two of their episode on the Tony Robbins podcast.
Words matter: “You” vs. “I” – Even when you have the best of intentions, what you say can escalate an argument into a full-blown fight and really hurt the one you love.
Why we all need pain – Pain is part of life, and while it is seen by most as something to be avoided, pain can actually open a well and present you with a valuable opportunity to grow.
The beauty of uncertainty – We cannot control someone else’s heart, but the beauty of this uncertainty is that it create a space for our ultimate spiritual growth, so we can find more joy and more happiness than anywhere else.