What’s your Erotic Blueprint?

Sexologist Jaiya Ma on achieving the red-hot relationship you deserve

Listen on iTunes

What have you been taught about pleasure? What have you learned about sexual connection? Does the very thought of answering those questions make you uncomfortable?

In this episode, our host, Ana Yoerg, sits down with renowned sexologist, Jaiya Ma, and her partner, Ian. They’ll talk about the Erotic Blueprint, and how understanding your own and your partner’s Blueprint can set you free from shame and bring you the extraordinary sex life you’ve always wanted.

Who is Jaiya Ma?

Jaiya Ma is a somatic sexologist, the author of Red Hot Touch and founder of New World Sex Education – a company dedicated to using education to help men and women get the sex lives they’ve always wanted. Her mission is to help unleash erotic ecstasy and shift the cultural view of sexuality from being something that is bad, wrong or shameful to something that is seen as healthy and worth cultivating, and even worth celebrating. Jaiya may be one of the world’s most famous sexologists – she has appeared on The Doctors, GMA, Nightline and CNN. She’s also been a guest speaker at Tony’s Platinum Partner events.

What is the Erotic Blueprint?

Jaiya created the Erotic Blueprint framework to help you discover your personal map of sexual arousal and how you can understand yourself and your partner on a deeper level than ever before. The five Erotic Blueprints are the ultimate language of connection, passion and sexual satisfaction:

  1. Energetic: Enjoys anticipation and tease and is aroused by energy over touch.
  2. Sensual: Aroused by the senses, including sound, taste, smell and touch.
  3. Sexual: Aroused by sex itself; this type thinks of sex as old-fashioned fun.
  4. Kinky: Aroused by things that are taboo to them, but this can come with shame.
  5. Shapeshifter: Adventurous and creative; aroused by all of the above

Connect with your partner more deeply

Great sex isn’t just about being able to communicate what you need, it’s about speaking the same language as your partner, and learning how to honor and fulfill their needs. This is the path to connection. And it’s the way to opening up new possibilities for seduction, enticement and a deeper level of intimacy than you’ve ever experienced before.

Tony often talks about trading your expectations for appreciation, and Jaiya echoes these thoughts. She says that connection must start with appreciation of all that your partner has done for you. “Don’t come from a place of lack, that they need to change or you need to change,” she says.

Enjoying the journey

Jaiya also says, “We get so fixated on the goal we forget the journey.” This applies to our relationships in general, but also to each sexual encounter. Especially for long-term couples, life often tends to get in the way – and we can find ourselves in sexless marriages. Keeping the spark alive is no longer effortless, but we can still plan for passion. Remember that there is an artistry, to both your relationship and your sex life, and it takes time to explore and expand into new territory.

Who is Jaiya Ma

Ready to change your relationship for the better? It could start with your sex life. Remember, “Really expressing yourself in your relationship is pretty unique and pretty frightening for a lot of people,” as Jaiya says. But with the right knowledge – and the ability to embrace and nurture both your own and your partner’s Erotic Blueprints – you can rekindle your relationship and have the red-hot sex life you deserve.


[01:50] Introduction
[03:30] Welcome Jaiya and Ian
[03:40] What is an erotic blueprint?
[03:55] We are all wired in a different way, erotically
[04:15] The 5 main blueprint types
[04:30] How Jaiya developed the blueprints
[05:00] Understanding and honoring your partner
[05:30] The myth of sexual incompatibility
[05:50] We are afraid to talk about sex
[06:30] What did you learn about sexuality growing up?
[06:55] Unraveling the negative programming
[08:55] Learning to speak each other’s language
[09:30] We are wired for pleasure
[10:15] Feminine energy requires pleasure
[10:45] Really understanding how to take care of yourself
[11:25] The blueprints explained
[11:50] Notice what resonates with your body
[12:20] The mental aspect of determining your blueprint (eroticbreakthrough.com/robbins)
[12:40] Getting hands on with what your body has to say
[13:05] The energetic blueprint
[14:20] The sensitivity of the energetic
[14:45] What the energetic is not about
[15:00] Presence is the primary sexual skill
[16:05] Each blueprint has a positive side and a shadow side
[17:15] The energetic can become icey and withdrawn
[18:20] The sensual blueprint
[18:55] The shadow side of the sensual
[19:20] Sensuals can get very caught up in their head
[19:45] They bring beauty to their sensual experience
[20:10] Jaiya and Ian’s personal struggle as a couple
[23:10] The sexual blueprint
[23:50] The sexual brings fun and can be very goal driven
[24:10] Orgasm and sex helps them relax – it’s a need
[25:00] The shadow side of the sexual
[25:40] The cultural stigma against women with a sexual blueprint
[26:30] When men and women wear a mask
[26:50] The shadow side of the sexual
[28:40] The kinky blueprint
[30:10] The shadow side of the kinky blueprint
[30:40] The mythology surrounding kink
[31:00] The superpowers of the kinky blueprint
[31:20] Approaching this blueprint from a psychological standpoint
[32:20] Owning your energy in the bedroom
[33:00] Turned on by sensation
[34:40] Combining blueprints
[35:10] Blueprint stacking
[35:40] The shame that surrounds the kinky blueprint
[36:30] Grooves can become ruts, and eventually lead to graves
[37:00] Tony’s blueprint for happiness
[38:00] Our blueprints show us where we’re limited
[38:20] The 4 components of embracing your blueprint
[39:00] Get rid of your rules
[39:30] Your sexuality is constantly changing
[40:00] Seeing the different sides of your partner over time
[40:40] Why are you in a relationship?
[42:55] Understanding blueprints allows for deeper levels of communication
[43:30] The shapeshifter blueprint
[44:15] The superpower of the shapeshifter
[44:45] The shadow sides of the shapeshifter
[45:45] The shapeshifter’s voracious appetite
[48:00] Sexual vitality and your health
[49:20] What are your biggest obstacles to sexual health and pleasure?
[51:20] The selfish drive that underlies the shadow side of the shapeshifter
[53:10] The reason there are so many shapeshifters
[53:30] The 2 most common blueprints
[55:20] The AB Game
[57:20] Advice for introducing the blueprint to your partner
[58:40] Don’t content dump on your partner
[59:20] Start with appreciation
[50:50] Speaking to a place of “providing” for the relationship
[51:50] Be non-critical
[01:03:55] Tune into the compassion – pay attention to core injuries
[01:04:40] It takes 1 person to transform a relationship
[01:06:00] Jaiya’s 1 year commitment to herself
[01:07:40] Trade your expectations for appreciation
[01:08:25] Where to learn more about Ian and Jaiya

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

related posts
Health & Vitality

Life Mastery Virtual: How to Prepare for an Outstanding Event

Read More
Mind & Meaning


Read More
Mind & Meaning


Read More

Get Tony Robbins' articles, podcasts and videos in your inbox, biweekly.