Is it time to let go?

Making the difficult decision to end a relationship

Over the last several decades, Dano has built a life and a family with his wife. He loves her immensely – but at the time of this interview, the couple had come to a crossroads and had been separated for over two years.

Dano does not want to divorce his wife, but he blames himself for the relationship’s trajectory. He is still deeply in love with her and wants to find a solution. At UPW, he looks to Tony to help him make sense of his situation.

In this episode, you’ll get a front-row seat as Tony works on the ground with Unleash the Power Within attendee Dano toward a breakthrough in his life and his relationship

Listen as Tony works with Dano to understand perspective versus reality and the role they can play in making or breaking a relationship. He stresses the importance of expectations versus appreciation with your partner, and making room for the concept of identity, and he explains how the feminine understanding of identity is different from the masculine understanding.

While Dano discusses the pain of a rift in his relationship, he reveals something we all struggle with: being let down by our expectations not meeting our reality. Ultimately, Tony shares that, sometimes, love means letting go.



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How many times have you set expectations for yourself that you were not able to meet? Whether it was a career, relationship or general life goal, many times our expectations are different from our realities

Dano went into his marriage with the expectation that he would automatically be fulfilled by his relationship. Unfortunately, that’s not one of the guaranteed rules of relationships. When his wife served him with divorce papers, it became clear that his expectation of marriage was not aligned with reality – and he ended up lost, confused and in pain.

Tony uses this example as a teaching tool to show why tying our happiness to our expectations is dangerous. Once Dano’s marriage shifted and his expectations were not being met, his happiness slipped away too. In reality, letting go of his expectations in his marriage and every area of his life would lead to lasting happiness and real joy. 

Dano had the expectation that loving his wife meant rejecting her request for divorce and working on the marriage. Tony showed him that, by fulfilling her need to be free, Dano was showing her true love.

This episode of the Tony Robbins podcast is part of a breakthrough series that goes inside his Date with Destiny, Unleash the Power Within and Business Mastery events to witness live coaching of attendees through life-changing transformations.

tony robbins date with destiny

SHOW NOTES

[01:10] Episode introduction
[02:20] Refusing to settle for an average relationship
[02:50] Going through a divorce in a beautiful state
[03:15] The core issue
[03:30] The inception of the relationship
[04:15] Incompatibility
[05:00] Letting go vs. transitioning
[05:30] Sexual compatibility is still there
[06:25] He wants more than what she wants
[07:30] Understanding her perspective
[08:50] What an identity means for a man vs. a woman
[10:10] Women are inclined to judge themselves
[10:30] An identity crisis
[11:10] The role of significance in their relationship
[13:15] A great test for all relationships
[14:40] Let go of your stories
[15:30] Marriage means responsibility to this woman
[16:20] Love is not a selfish thing
[16:50] All good things in life grow
[17:10] Growing as a man and stepping into the unknown
[17:20] What’s next is always better
[18:10] Ancient practice of Ho’oponopono
[20:50] Preferences vs. needs

"all good things in life grow." tony robbins

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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